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But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Distribution is still a bottleneck. Tokenized funds are still as rare as unicorns, and platforms that offer them are few and far between. But online brokers like Robinhood, Public, and eToro (ETOR), with their crypto-fueled dreams and millennial clientele, are ready to take the plunge. Coinbase (COIN), with its broadening horizons, might also throw its hat into the ring, though they’re still figuring out what exactly “finance” means outside of crypto.

Since its debut in 2017 (back when Bitcoin was still “just a fad”), ChangeNOW has been making waves with its non-custodial magic. Imagine swapping crypto without having to hand over your privacy like it’s a participation trophy. That’s what they do-over 1,500 cryptocurrencies strong, serving more than 5 million clients globally. And now, they’ve rolled out the red carpet for businesses with ChangeNOW For Business. Let’s dive in, shall we? 🎉

BitMEX announced it will delist 48 perpetual contracts on September 11 at 12:00 UTC due to “insufficient trading interest,” with early settlement per standard procedure. Affected pairs include ARBUSD, SHIBUSD, ORDIUSD, XAUTUSD, ONDOUSDT, WOOUSDT, ZROUSDT, BLURUSDT, SAGAUSDT, and…

The 3,500 miners could generate $22.70M in high-margin annual revenues at $DOGE’s price of $0.22. A sum that would make even a peasant’s son weep with joy. 🥺

The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) has dropped a new agenda for the crypto world. They’re saying it’s all about making things clearer and easier for everyone. But let’s be real, how often does the government actually make anything easier? 🙄

Ruchir Sharma, the money wizard who’s seen it all (and probably owns a few islands), declared crypto “here to stay” with the conviction of a man who’s never wrong about anything. 🤭 “Bitcoin’s not going anywhere,” he said, while banks that once scoffed now scramble to buy digital coins like kids hoarding candy. 🍬

But wait! Could this be the moment crypto sneaks up behind everyone like a giggling gremlin in a tuxedo? 🤪🎩 Santiment (the wizard of crypto whispers) says the “divergence” is so bold it’s basically shouting, “Look at me!”

the usability gap is the iceberg lurking in the waters of crypto’s grand voyage.

For weeks now, SHIB’s been stuck in this “contracting triangle pattern,” which sounds fancy but really just means it’s caught between $0.0000120 and $0.0000130, kinda like me trying to make a decision on what to order. Trading volume’s dropping too. So, no bulls, no bears, just confused crypto animals wandering around. The 200-day EMA sits up there at $0.0000139 like a bouncer who’s had enough of this nonsense, while the 50-day and 100-day averages are squeezing the price like it owes them money. And with the RSI at 46? That’s basically “meh” on the momentum scale. Translation: once things get volatile, SHIB might just freak out.

But this is not mere possession; nay, they venture into the very crucible of creation, acquiring 2,500 Dogecoin miners-a breed of machinery as whimsical as the Shiba Inu that adorns its logo. 🐕💻 One might ponder: in this grand tapestry of existence, does the mining of Dogecoin bring us closer to enlightenment, or merely to the edge of absurdity?