Fear not, dear users! The all-knowing wizards at Binance have pledged to oversee all technical wizardry needed for this upgrade. Apparently, once the network returns to its normal, less-chaotic self, services will jump back into action with a flair of disregard for further notifications. Why spoil the surprise, right? 🎉
Now, according to the esteemed PlanB—who has apparently donned his crown as the quantitative analyst of Bitcoin banter—this digital treasure is simply too good to be true. He suggests Bitcoin is at least a whopping ten times undervalued. If that doesn’t get your eyebrows dancing, I don’t know what will!
The company, already the crypto world’s version of a whale with a shopping addiction, added 6,220 BTC to its stash as Bitcoin briefly flirted with $123,000. Spoiler: It broke up. 💔 But hey, at least Strategy’s portfolio is now 607,770 BTC strong. That’s enough to make a crypto influencer faint. 🕊️
This “variation” is available in many online casinos because nothing says “excitement” like a game that’s 90% confusion and 10% chance to win. The layout is classic, but the focus? 13 and 23. Because numbers are just numbers, right? 💀
Such chicanery from our aquatic friends could sway the delicate ballets of Bitcoin’s near-term price movements, should the tides of selling pressure swell unexpectedly. Oh, the suspense!
When “Pudgy Penguins” (PENGU) outperforms bitcoin seventeen-fold, you know something’s up 🐧. Altcoin season is like a big party, and everyone’s invited 🎉. Coinmarketcap’s got a fancy index to measure this, and it looks like we’re in for a wild ride 🎢.
Now, the brave bulls of Ethereum prepare to assault the formidable fortress of $4,000, a level that stands as a testament to both the resilience and the ambition of this digital currency. According to the wise sages of derivatives data, this threshold is a crucible, a place where the fate of many a bearish position will be decided. Should Ethereum breach this sacred ground, the ensuing chaos could see the liquidation of $331,170,000 worth of short positions, setting off a chain reaction of forced buybacks that might propel the price to even greater heights.
And guess what? The ETH price has perked up too, gaining a solid 3.5% on the news. Bulls are getting their hopes up for a potential breakout past $4,000, especially after a stellar 25% weekly rally. It’s like Ethereum is saying, “Watch me, I’m about to fly!” 🦅
As if on cue, ZachXBT, the hero of blockchain sleuths, flagged the breach in the blink of an eye—because what’s a hacker attack without a hero to cry out on social media? It was an exploit of a ‘hot wallet’—a wallet with a personality disorder, apparently—drained clean, leaving only cold wallets safe from the storm. But hey, those hot wallets were apparently so hot they burned the place down. 🔥
This latest escapade, reminiscent of a Midsummer Night’s Dream but with considerably fewer fairies and a lot more digital currency, was primarily funded by the audacious sale of a staggering 1.6 million shares of MSTR. This tactic netted the firm a whopping $736.4 million. With a year-to-date return of 20.8% on its BTC collection, Strategy is riding the euphoric wave of the recent crypto rally that propelled Bitcoin to a record high of $130,000. Oh, the sweet sound of sound investments! 🎉