Bitcoin, that digital gold rush with a side of digital glitter, surged past $94,000, shrugging off its $90k skid like a wet dog shaking off rain. The rest of the crypto crew followed suit, their collective market cap bloating to $3.3 trillion, because nothing says “confidence” like a 3.6% uptick and a table full of numbers that make accountants weep into their coffee. 📊
Key takeaways
Ah, the derivatives markets-a place where even XRP can find its moment in the spotlight! On Tuesday, futures open interest reached a dazzling $4.08 billion across exchanges, while the spot price flirted with $2.11 per coin. The buildup, my darlings, suggests traders are positioning for a follow-through rather than a dramatic fade. How très chic! 💃
Historical parallels? Oh, how poetic! The reaccumulation of 2017 offers a mirror, but one warped by time’s cruel hand. Market maturity, liquidity, and regulation now dance to a different tune. The past is a ghost, and ghosts rarely pay bills. 👻
This time, the villain is “rate cuts” – a term that’s somehow both thrilling and terrifying, like a rollercoaster operated by a sleep-deprived intern. 🎢 From Trump’s ongoing telenovela with Powell to tariff drama (so hot right now 🔥), everyone’s obsessed with what the Fed might do. Spoiler: no one knows. 😅
On January 13, Pump.fun deposited 148.48 million dollars in stablecoins to the Kraken exchange within seven hours. The rumor mill-Lookonchain on X-calls this another tremor in the Solana-based memecoin’s conscience. USDC and USDT stood in for the platform’s reserves, as if the church of numbers is worshipped instead of something human. 🤨💸
According to the jolly announcement, Strive is set to nab a whopping 5,048 BTCs from Semler Scientific. And as if that weren’t enough, they’ve gone and snaffled an additional 123 BTCs at a cool average price of $91.5k, setting them back a mere $11.2 million. Tally-ho! Once this little caper is complete, Strive will be sitting pretty with a total of 12,797 BTCs, making them the 11th largest corporate Bitcoin holder. Top hole! 💰🚀
The SEI token, bound to its narrow range of $0.10 to $0.13, lies dormant, a bear in hibernation, unmoved by the frenzied activity of its derivatives. The market, ever the cautious spectator, withholds its judgment, neither fleeing nor embracing, as if awaiting a sign from the heavens. 📉✨
With a flourish of bureaucratic penmanship, Nigeria has enacted a tax-driven framework for cryptocurrency oversight, underpinned by the Nigerian Tax Administration Act 2025. The law, a labyrinth of legal jargon, binds cryptocurrency transactions to the Tax Identification Numbers (TINs) and National Identification Numbers (NINs), ensuring that even the most elusive digital transactions are tethered to the flesh-and-blood identities of their users. 🧠📜
Grab a coffee, settle in, and keep one eye on the calendar because tomorrow night, something big brews in the shadows of crypto. A single vote could quietly unleash chaos or spark the kind of fire most people only whisper about. 🕵️♂️🔥
