The next hour was a nuclear-level support test at $0.380, with 95.27 million tokens traded. Bulls: “We’re buying the dip!” Bears: “No, we’re not.” But somehow, XLM clawed back to $0.389 by nightfall. Survival of the fittest-or just desperate. 🤷♂️
The scene was more a pop concert than a caffeine run, and the ripple of online applause suggested that the fanbase, bordering on fanatic, cherished this display of undiluted enthusiasm. It’s as if the entire XRP community had decided to throw a parade in Schwartz’s honor, complete with coffee beans and digital currency landmarks.
On a sunny Monday, Kraken didn’t just bring donuts to a board meeting. No, they rolled up their sleeves and met with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission’s (SEC) Crypto Task Force to hash out how to make stocks as cool as your favorite meme. The agenda? A little chit-chat about their grand scheme for a tokenized trading system and the mountain of red tape that’s just waiting to trip them up. 📈😅
According to the wizards at DefiLlama (which sounds like a magical creature but is actually just data), top NFT projects are seeing their floor prices drop like a mic after a bad stand-up set. Pudgy Penguins, Bored Ape Yacht Club (BAYC), and Doodles are all nursing their digital bruises. 🦜🍹🎨
The token’s sharp rise came after Bithumb, one of South Korea’s leading exchanges, announced the altcoin’s official listing on its spot trading platform. *Sarcasm alert: What could possibly go wrong?* 💸
Read on if you’re curious who’s making bank. (Spoiler: probably not you. 😅)
Meanwhile, the big shots-those institutional whales-are busy watching their spreadsheets, but it turns out, it’s the retail warriors throwing a hissy fit. Data suggests they’re panicking faster than a cat in a bath, pulling funds out as if their lives depended on it, and not in a good way. This week’s outflow streak from Bitcoin ETFs is longer than a laundry list, reminiscent of April’s tariff-induced chaos. But here’s the twist: it’s the everyday folks, not the Wall Street suits, leading the charge with their emotional reactions. Because nothing screams “trust me” quite like a retail investor hitting panic mode at the first sign of turbulence.
Last week, with the casual indifference of a man ordering a second bottle of claret, the whale offloaded 22,769 BTC-a mere $2.59 billion-and, in a fit of whimsy, acquired nearly half a million ETH. Not content with mere spot purchases, he wagered another $577 million on perpetual longs, as though daring the gods of finance to smite him.
Late on that fateful Monday, the S&P Dow Jones Indices announced that Interactive Brokers Group would be the new darling of the index, replacing the pharmacy chain Walgreens Boots Alliance. One can only imagine the confetti raining down on Interactive Brokers while Robinhood sulked in the corner, nursing its wounds.
“DePIN, Infra, DeFi-sounds like a bad dating app profile, but here we are. DePIN’s been massacred, so PEAQ’s your ‘buy the dip’ moment. Infra? Wormhole’s your wormy little friend. And DeFi? Ether.Fi’s got Michael’s heart racing. 🤑 Or maybe he just needs a coffee.”
