Modern investing has become an unholy stew of politics, memes, and whatever your crazy neighbor shouts at you about on Facebook. August 22: the day Canary Capital lobbed its S-1 at the SEC, proposing the “American-Made Crypto ETF”-presumably the financial equivalent of apple pie, but with more volatility and less sugar.
Here’s the TL;DR for those who can’t be bothered:
This theatrical performance followed an AMA with the aforementioned Mr. Hoskinson, a man of such boundless optimism that one wonders if he has ever encountered a cloud in his sky. He spoke, with the fervor of a man describing his own child’s genius, of a coming “Midnight Network”-a thing promised to bring privacy, a commodity more scarce than common sense in these parts. 😉
Since April, ETH has gone on a wild ride-up over 240% to smash above $5,000 last Sunday, making investors feel like the kings of crypto. Profits? Oh, they’re rising faster than the tech bubble in 2000, hinting we’re in the “belief” phase, which basically means everyone’s convinced this is the real deal… until it’s not. 😉
The Dow Jones Industrial Average opened lower than a limbo stick at a party, down 90 points, while the S&P 500 lost 0.2%. It’s like watching your favorite roller coaster go down instead of up! 🎢 The Nasdaq Composite also joined the fun, dropping 0.3% as the once-bullish investors turned into cautious cats. 🐱
Ripple (XRP) is in a bit of a holding pattern, even though there are some good reasons for it to grow up and do something. But let’s face it, higher timeframe charts are saying, “Hey, there’s still some life in you!” The $2.64 region is where all the cool kids hang out, and there’s a noticeable buildup of liquidity. So, if it gets tested, there’s a chance it might react. But let’s wait and see if it actually does anything. 🕵️♂️
It’s apparently forming something called an “inverse head and shoulders pattern.” Which, if you’re over thirty, is not to be confused with whatever your chiropractor did to you last Tuesday. Javon Marks, who I assume is a crypto analyst and not my childhood orthodontist, assures us that this means Shiba Inu could surge 540%. Sure, Javon. Maybe next it will do my taxes.
Bitcoin’s [BTC] September voyage began not with triumph, but with the clanging bells of calamity. 🛎️
Technically speaking, SHIB continues to trade within a wide symmetrical triangle pattern, its price hovering around the quaint sum of $0.0000123. For months, this structure has been evolving, much like a slow-burning romance in a novel, showing a narrowing range as traders wait with bated breath for a clear move. Alas, the issue facing SHIB is that the network’s fundamentals have become as unreliable as a broken clock. With token circulation and transaction volume plummeting, the price momentum has begun to wane, much like a forgotten fad from last season.
Between August 18 and 24, Strategy’s coffers swelled with Bitcoin, purchased at an average price of $115,829 per coin. The SEC, that watchful sentinel of markets, bore witness to this transaction, which now leaves the company clutching a staggering 632,457 BTC. At last check, that’s enough to make even Warren Buffett raise an eyebrow-or perhaps two.
