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Despite the sluggishness of spot prices, derivatives traders have unleashed a veritable stampede of speculation. Open interest has ballooned beyond $3.7 billion, suggesting that leveraged traders are wagering their kibble on a wild ride. Meanwhile, trading volumes have drooped by over 40%, as if the market has momentarily paused to sniff the grass. Such divergence often heralds violent swings, and DOGE, ever the prankster, sits poised to deliver a jolt of volatility. 🐾

Behold, the dichotomy of man! While the masses panic over ETH’s rollercoaster ride, institutions march onward, their coffers swelling with digital ether. One might call it faith, or perhaps the cold calculus of avarice. Either way, the Ethereum blockchain now bears the weight of 6.01 million ETH in ETFs, with BlackRock’s ETHA hoarding 3.49 million-a veritable treasure trove for a fund that could probably buy a small island by now. 🏝️

Here’s the dirt, the grime, the sweat-stained ledger of last week’s circus:

According to the benevolent sages at Lookonchain (who, unlike most bureaucrats, actually observe things), this Whale – a financial Rasputin of sorts – is stuffing its pockets with Chainlink (LINK) as though they were passports to a land free of tax collectors.

While this resurgence is a far cry from the glory days of 2021, it should certainly grab the attention of investors looking for assets available at a discount that would make a discount store manager weep with joy.

Ethereum – or as some cheekily call it, the blockchain diva – started the week looking a tad woeful. A tiny dip of 3.22% took it down to $4,283, after it flirted with a 14% dominance – sounds like a diva throwing a tantrum! Meanwhile, the entire crypto market decided to play “Risk-Off” and dipped 2.45%, as if everyone suddenly remembered they had bills to pay.

As Economic Times reports (with no small amount of amusement), India’s tax regime has chased crypto platforms abroad-where they now frolic freely in the welcoming sands of Dubai. The government, ever the inquisitive host, demands explanations for why traders fled-taxes, confusion, and liquidity woes? Quelle surprise!

The timing of Spagni’s pronouncement couldn’t be more opportune. Ripple, the company behind XRP, has been riding a series of fortunate events, like a dog on a skateboard. First, there was the SEC’s shock decision to drop its never-ending lawsuit against Ripple. Then, in a plot twist no one saw coming, President Donald Trump-yes, that one-mentioned XRP as a potential player in the U.S. digital asset stockpile. Because, naturally, why wouldn’t we trust Trump on crypto?

The crypto market’s doing the mambo-Bitcoin skyrocketed to an all-time high of $124,500 (yes, you read that right), and Ethereum hit a shiny $4,500-then both gracefully fell back to earth, landing at $118,247 and $3,247. Like a roller coaster, folks! 🎢

But wait! Could this downtrodden token be dusting itself off for an encore performance? As it flirts with what might generously be called a “possible bottom,” whispers of revival are swirling through the cryptosphere. Dare we entertain hope-or at least some mild curiosity? 🤔