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The New Zealand government, in a move that’s sure to make criminals cry, has announced a ban on crypto ATMs. Associate Justice Minister Nicole McKee, who I’m sure is just trying to make a name for herself, revealed the decision. This is part of a broader overhaul aimed at making it harder for criminals to convert their dirty cash into high-risk assets and move funds offshore. Because, you know, who needs a little extra cash in the Cayman Islands, am I right? 🏝️💰

Chainlink (LINK) price is gaining renewed attention from analysts as momentum indicators and price structure point to a possible breakout. After a prolonged correction earlier in the year, the token has stabilized above the $13 level and is beginning to show signs of strength, much like a sleepy bear waking up from hibernation. 🐻

Their objection, penned with the certainty one adopts before their third cup of tea, advances two main arguments:
First, that FTX settlements are paid in US dollars—a currency as familiar as the peasants’ ruble yet twice as likely to buy a cup of stale coffee (or a monkey JPEG).
Second, that cryptocurrency, much maligned and misunderstood, is in fact legal in China—as digital assets are as much “personal property” there as a samovar in a Moscow kitchen or a half-read Tolstoy volume in a student’s bag.

Hyperliquid’s impressive growth trajectory might keep investors’ eyes on HYPE.

After opening at $503.82, BCH fluctuated between an intraday low of $497.85 and a high of $509.48, maintaining a firm position above the $500 threshold throughout the session.

‘Tis all part of some mysterious “pre-launch” masquerade that commenced on the All Fools’ Day—no jest, I assure you! The crowds have tossed not cabbages, but $810,831 into the ring thus far, waving purses with the flourish of aspiring millionaires and expectant dog trainers alike.

This sequence of high-volume deposits coincides with rising exchange inflows and renewed speculation around possible large-scale liquidation, a most dire prospect indeed! 📉

According to a press release shared with crypto.news on July 9, MyTonWallet and Tokenstore have launched the first live integration of MyTonWallet Pay, enabling instant Toncoin (TON) and Tether (USDT) payments at checkout. It’s the closest thing to digital cash the ecosystem has seen since the invention of the whoopee cushion! 💸💨

Thanks to this new partnership, Kraken users will soon be able to deposit and withdraw tokenized U.S. stocks—like TSLA, AAPL, NVDA, and SPY—via the BNB network. These tokenized equities, known as xStocks (because “x” makes everything sound cooler), will be deployed on Binance Chain as BEP-20 tokens and integrated into the Stock Alliance, a coalition that’s all about expanding the reach of tokenized assets 🤝.

The crypto mining industry, 2025: as calm as a Moscow traffic jam and twice as predictable. July: the month when the stats were made to be laughed at (or perhaps wept over). Galaxy Digital Holdings Ltd. reigns heavy with its $7.48 billion cap—though recently, its value has drifted like a government-issued ration card, down 0.97% for the day, 12.68% over just five despair-filled evenings. Next door, MARA Holdings discovers the cheat code, leaping 4.63% daily and 11.59% weekly; meanwhile, Core Scientific, Inc. drops like the thermometers in February: -5.46% and -18.72% for day and week. Ah, market capitalism—always dangling a carrot that proves to be a potato.