Bitcoiners Panic—Did Snot-Nosed Speculators Just Call the Market Bottom? 😂🚨

A picture worth one thousand rubles, or zero, depending on the hour.

Yet—wait! What’s this? The great analyst Darkfost (one can only assume a distant cousin of Akaky Akakievich) waves a trembling finger at the on-chain charts and proclaims: behold, the short-term holder realized price ratio drops below 0.995! In simpler idiocy: the Snot-Nosed Speculators™ are dumping their bitcoins, facing losses with all the grace of a flock of startled chickens. This, dear reader, is supposed to be bullish. Historically, when weak hands are shaking, strong hands step forth—presumably holding both Bitcoin and strong, unsweetened vodka.

XRPL Just Unleashed a Proposal That Could Make Your XRP Wallet Grow Wings 🤑

From the literary quill of one Denis Angell (a name almost too apt, as if summoned from the Book of Genesis for developers), the public now beholds the mystical scroll named XLS-56d. Supposing it slips past those gatekeepers otherwise subsisting on coffee, memes, and existential dread, it threatens to render asset transfers as smooth as a conman’s pick-up line at a charity gala. Wouldn’t you relish giving your wallet a workout—while paying less in gas than you would playing Mario Kart on a Sunday afternoon?

You Won’t Believe What This Guy Said About XRP vs. Bitcoin 🤯

Now picture this: Charles Shrem – yes, that guy from the Blockchain Backer channel, the man with diamond hands and the patience of a rabbi at a brisket buffet – declares, “Hey, maybe XRP could knock Bitcoin off its throne!” Cue dramatic lightning and Bitcoin maximalists clutching their ledgers like grandma’s pearls.

IP/USD

Sorry, IP/USD forecast is not available at the moment. Please try again later. Forecasts that will be relevant tomorrow:

Guess What? Mullen’s Taking Your Bitcoin—And Even Your TRUMP Coins—For EVs!

Mullen, a company so edgy they make a butter knife look dangerous, is letting you buy their EVs—including the Bollinger, which I assume is not related to champagne—with cryptocurrencies. Bitcoin? Check. TRUMP coin? Sure, why not. Meme coins, stablecoins… next they’ll take Chuck E. Cheese tokens and frequent flyer miles. Who’s in charge over there, Willy Wonka? 🪙🎰

AB/USD

Sorry, AB/USD forecast is not available at the moment. Please try again later. Forecasts that will be relevant tomorrow: