Much to our amusement, Kraken boasted of robust year-over-year growth—an extravaganza!—yet, like a tumble of overly festive fireworks, experienced a quarterly decline. Meanwhile, Robinhood joined the party, strutting in with its own sob story of faltering performance compared to Q1 2025.
XRP, the dignified elder statesman of crypto, has been flexing its cross-border payment muscles while sipping tea after Ripple’s partial court victory against the SEC. Oh, what a time to be alive! The legal win has sent institutions whispering sweet nothings into XRP’s ear, reigniting hopes for partnerships that were previously frozen like forgotten leftovers in the back of the fridge. Meanwhile, Solana—crypto’s comeback kid—is sprinting out of its post-FTX slump faster than you can say “NFTs.” With skyrocketing developer activity, it’s practically the life of the blockchain party. 🎉
The blockchain behemoth and its devoted community are marking the 10th anniversary with a retrospective of the most pivotal moments since its inception in 2015. From the dizzying heights of the ICO frenzy to the NFT boom, the monumental The Merge, and even the approval of spot exchange-traded funds (ETFs), Ethereum has seen it all and then some.
Check Point, the cybersecurity folks who probably have a PhD in “I told you so,” warns that fake crypto apps are out to get you. Because who wouldn’t want to download a fake Binance app? I mean, who’s got time to check if it’s real? 🤷♂️
Source – Visa Q3 Earnings. Because nothing says ‘thrilling’ like quarterly reports, right?
Ah, the illustrious Coinbase has proclaimed a partnership of grand proportions with none other than Samsung Pay, that paragon of mobile wallets! This union aims to transform the labyrinthine process of acquiring cryptocurrency into a mere stroll in the park—if one were to stroll through a park filled with digital coins, that is. 💰
Furthermore, the report has the audacity to urge Congress to pass legislation that supports DeFi innovation. Yes, because what we really need is more legislation in a world already drowning in it. And let’s not forget the modernization of anti-money laundering rules, which is like putting a fresh coat of paint on a sinking ship. 🚢
Bitcoin’s [BTC] macro temperature stabilized at 44%, because obviously, the universe needed another arbitrary percentage to fret over. This “neutral zone” is basically the financial equivalent of waiting for a bus that might be canceled, while aliens debate whether to sell or hodl. 🛸
It all began in a dimly lit dorm room, where the aroma of microwaved noodles mingled with the heady scent of youthful ambition. Vitalik Buterin—a chap born in Russia and raised in Canada—first caught wind of Bitcoin from his dad when he was just 17. By 2011, he was scribbling articles for Bitcoin Magazine, earning five bitcoins per piece—a princely sum at the time (about $3.50, if you’re keeping score). 🤑
According to the Financial Times, which is always good for a laugh when it comes to financial shenanigans, the ECB’s staff committee has fired off a letter to none other than the formidable Christine Lagarde herself. The letter, penned by Carlos Bowles, the chair of the staff committee, reads more like a medieval scroll of grievances than a modern bureaucratic document. It lists “widespread complaints of favoritism, high burnout rates, and the vulnerability of many colleagues working under temporary contracts.” Sounds like a recipe for a staff party, doesn’t it? 🥂
