🤑 Monad’s MON Sale: Coinbase’s Crypto Carnival or Tokenomics Tragedy? 🎪

Monad, the Ethereum-compatible Layer 1, strides toward its November 24 mainnet apotheosis, its path illuminated by the twin flames of ambition and controversy. This is not merely a launch; it is a sacrament, a test of faith in the decentralized creed. Yet, as the curtains part, the air thickens with doubt. What of MON’s supply? Its distribution? The rewards that flow like manna to the validators? These are the riddles that vex the congregation.

🎭 Schiff vs. Saylor: The Great Bitcoin Debacle in Dubai! 🌟

Schiff, ever the Cassandra of the financial world, warns that Strategy’s profits are as ephemeral as a desert mirage, tethered precariously to Bitcoin’s whims. “Their financial structure,” he intones with a dramatic sigh, “is but a house of cards awaiting the fickle winds of investor sentiment.” 🏜️

Crypto’s Little Guys Crumble as Bitcoin Gobbles All the Cash 💸

Five years ago, you could’ve bought a small-cap crypto token with your lunch money and sold it for a yacht. Today? The MarketVector large-cap index laughs all the way to the bank with a 380% gain, while small-caps sit at -8%. Remember when every dip was a buy-the-rumors-sell-the-news rollercoaster? Those days are as dead as Blockbuster. 📀 RIP

Cboe’s December Crypto Gambit: Perpetual Futures Without the Peril 😏

Cboe Global Markets, ever the host with the most, plans to roll out its bitcoin and Ether continuous futures on Dec. 15, 2025. A decade-long engagement ring for the crypto market, these contracts spare traders the tedious ritual of rolling expiring futures. One must commend Cboe for finally inventing a system where the only thing expiring is one’s patience for traditional finance.