Like ghosts rising from half-forgotten dreams, the words of Luca Netz, CEO and possibly secret Dostoevsky fan, returned to haunt the internet. In October 2024, he had the reckless audacity to hint at âbuying OpenSeaâ. Imagine â a penguin, gazing longingly at the great blue void. This single utterance set the gossips ablaze. Did he? Would he? Did he at least borrow a paddle?
And lo, their holdings now soar to a magnificent 2,013 BTC, a veritable treasure trove that would make Scrooge McDuck weep with joy. With an astonishing yield of 1,410% year-to-date, one might wonder if they’ve uncovered the fabled Philosopher’s Stone of finance! Such an accomplishment surely deserves a hearty round of applauseâor perhaps a gentle chuckle at the folly of ordinary investments. đŠđ¸
Of course, rather than simply drowning their sorrows in a decent Riesling (as would any sensible person), Coinbase has opted for the much more dramatic route: a lawsuit. Yes, theyâre suing! Because nothing says âhands across the blockchainâ quite like a hefty pile of legal paperwork delivered with Teutonic precision.
Do you hear that? Itâs the wailing sound of XRPâs decline screaming below the $3.250 support, desperately wishing it could be as cool as Bitcoin and Ethereum. So sad, isnât it?
Apparently, the Cyprus authorities are now trying to unravel this modern-day mystery, with a small team of cybercrime detectives shrugging into their lab coats. The man claimsâamidst the usual sighsâthat his digital treasure trove, worth a small fortune in simple numbers, was stolen through a cyber-savory that knew how to pick a digital lock. The thieves, probably sipping coffee somewhere, managed to crack his emailâbecause, as experts point out, leaving your password at ‘password123’ or the name of your lazy cat isnât exactly Sherlock Holmes-level security.
Ethereum kicked off the countdown to its big 1-0 bash just over a week ago, unfurling an NFT torch that first graced the digital hands of co-founder Joseph Lubin, probably with a cup of tea in the other hand. đľ
Eight XRP wallets, all whispering tales of Chris Larsen’s involvement, are tagged 1 through 8 on xrpscan.com. Wallets 1 to 4 are the stodgy types, each lounging with just over 500 million XRP, while wallet 5 has 282.49 million, and wallet 6 is sitting pretty with 300.18 million. Sarcastic side note: wallet 7’s got a pitiful 21.79 XRPâtalk about being left out of the funâand wallet 8 flaunts a smug 1,000,009 XRP. The first four haven’t lifted a finger to send anything out, but wallet 5? Oh, it’s the life of the party, kicking off almost 60 million XRP in transfers from July 15. đ
Now, just in case you were worried Toncoin was headed for the crypto cemetery after peaking at $7.60 in 2024 (we hardly knew ye), thereâs fresh hope from institutional backers and the lure of your grandma soon swapping TON stickers in her favorite group chat. Talk about a glow-up.
In the shadowed corridors of Great China, where even the wind whistles secret rules, the hammer fell: not just on passwords but on skulls thick with the delusion of safety. Here, every coinâwhether copper or cryptoâbears the suspicious stamp of the Central Authority, and every byte is a potential snitch.
On a day when the sun dared not shine too brightly (July 11, to be precise), Bloomberg delivered a tale of monstrous fees: JPMorgan, that noble house of finance, declared war on fintechs by charging them a princely sumâup to 1,000% per transaction!âfor the privilege of accessing customer data. A financial guillotine, one might say. đ¸