Imagine a loyalty program that rewards you for doing stuff you’d probably do anyway—like spending money. Nubank’s new Nucoin is here to turn your everyday transactions into digital participation trophies. Use your card? Congrats, you’re a crypto tycoon now! (Sort of. Kind of. Maybe.)
While everyone’s been distracted by the latest crypto drama, Hyperliquid has been quietly making bank. Over the past two weeks, the daily revenue has averaged a cool $3.7 million, with over half the days hitting the $4 million mark. Even on weekends, when most people are too busy binge-watching Netflix to trade, the revenue rarely dipped below $3 million. That’s like having a steady stream of cash, but without the hassle of actually working. 💸
Meanwhile, the Pump.fun titans, those giants of the crypto circus, boasting a market cap nudging $4.9 billion, got a modest 11% boost—nothing too flashy. But, hold onto your wallets, folks—letsBONK.fun’s quirky little tokens surged a staggering 45%, hovering helplessly at around $657 million. It’s like watching a meme take the world by storm—and all from a platform most people probably can’t spell without a Google search.
But wait! Are we truly considering the raucous possibility of Polymarket tossing its hat—no, let’s be grandiose—a top hat, perhaps!—into the vast ring of the US stablecoin bazaar? 🤑
This tiresome equilibrium might not endure much longer, as the herd’s antics whisper of an impending shift—oh, the drama! 😂
Whilst ether parades about with a newfound allure, basking in institutional admiration, one cannot help but wonder if companies are now adopting ETH treasuries as a fashionable trend, much like the latest Parisian styles. Ah, how the tides shift! 🌊
While our transatlantic counterparts have been twirling like dervishes in a whirlpool of perpetual futures, American traders were left peeking through the keyhole, clutching their wallets with bated breath. No more! The dawn of freedom shines bright as they can finally trade in a legally embraced fashion starting July 21, 2025 (mark those calendars, folks!). They can now frolic within the protective arms of Coinbase Financial Markets! 🌞🗓️
Yes, the online real estate marketplace—where dreams of flipping houses meet the cold reality of flipping stocks—has become the latest obsession of traders who apparently believe in the power of collective delusion. Trading volumes? Oh, they’ve only quintupled. Shares? A modest 500% climb in 30 days. Just another Tuesday in the casino, folks. 🎰
Right. 2025. Still volatile, apparently. Which, let’s be honest, is code for “don’t quit your day job.” No full functionality, limited trading… basically, it’s still a bit of a pet project. But if they let more people actually *access* it, things could get… interesting. (Possibly.)
According to the ever-reliable Fortune (who probably used a crystal ball and a ouija board for this scoop), court documents reveal the Justice Department has thrown in the towel. 🏳️ No more snooping, no more accusations—just a big ol’ “never mind” from the feds. 🗞️
