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So, the odds of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) approving a Ripple exchange-traded fund (ETF) shot up to almost 90% on Aug. 8. According to Polymarket, the blockchain’s crystal ball, the chances spiked by 20 percentage points in less than 24 hours. Because, you know, nothing says “I’m serious” like a last-minute Hail Mary.

The hashrate kept climbing, and just ten blocks before the network’s next difficulty adjustment, it hit 976 EH/s based on the seven-day simple moving average (SMA), according to hashrateindex.com metrics. Imagine a digital gym where the weights keep getting heavier, but the lifters keep getting stronger. That’s Bitcoin for you.

But wait! Before you grab your virtual champagne, remember this: thanks to the infamous BitLicense, only US users outside New York State can join the fun. Poor New Yorkers are left out in the cold again, clutching their bagels and lamenting their inability to trade without extra hurdles. At least the costs and barriers are lower for everyone else-so, hooray for small mercies? 🥶💸

The idea of real-world asset (RWA) tokenisation has been one of the blockchain industry’s most hyped-up concepts for ages. It’s the dream where everything from real estate to U.S. Treasuries can be magically transformed into digital tokens and traded around the clock. 🕒✨

It appears the Foundation has kicked into high gear, promising to match community donations up to that hefty spondulicks-doubling down on their support for privacy and open-source shenanigans. The legal eagle handling Storm’s case shared the news with the enthusiasm of a cat in a litter box: “The @ethereumfndn has generously offered to match up to $500k in further donations to support Roman’s legal aid.” Cheers all around! 🍾

It appears Coinbase, in a most daring act of innovation, has introduced within its hallowed app a “Decentralized Exchange” (or DEX, for the uninitiated), whereby a select group of U.S. users-minus those formidable New Yorkers-can now swap Base-native tokens with as much speed as Lady Catherine might lend a sharp retort. This new feature, a hybrid of sorts, promises to marry the swift convenience of a well-managed banquet with the expansive diversity of DeFi’s wildest markets. Truly, a feat worthy of note-if only for the audacity.

It seems our friends at Paxos weren’t exactly on top of things when it came to their buddy Binance. The NYDFS is alleging that Paxos didn’t do its homework and let some shady stuff slip through the cracks, especially in the anti-money laundering department. Oopsie daisy! 🙈

Several layer-2 networks have also been the beneficiaries of ETH’s recent ascent. Ethereum scaling solution Optimism’s native token (OP) rose 8% in the past 24 hours, cementing a weekly gain of 13%. Rival network Blast also experienced an uptick of 6.3%, perhaps feeling a bit jealous of Optimism’s success. 😅

So here’s the deal: IntoTheBlock’s bulls-and-bears indicator-basically the dating app for large buyers and sellers-is showing some serious favoritism toward the bulls. There are 77 bulls versus 67 bears. That’s a difference of 10 whole bulls, which is basically an entire herd in cryptocurrency terms. 🐄💪 A net positive means more big buyers than sellers, signaling confidence in the current price trend. Or maybe they all just really love memes. Who knows?

In a press release that landed on crypto.news like a gooseberry pie in a bureaucrat’s lap, Nansen announced its union with Metis Andromeda, Ethereum’s permissionless Layer-2 darling. On August 8, no less-a date as arbitrary as a nose in the middle of a face. 🍰 The AI-powered lens of Nansen now scrutinizes Metis’ every move, turning fragmented datasets into a crystal-clear ballet of transactions. Oh, the drama of it all!