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Here is an in-depth fact-check to clarify the situation, lest we all end up with the mental clarity of a confused pigeon.

Yet, the soothsayers of the crypto bazaar whisper: “Fear not, for this gloom shall pass like a drunken bear’s hiccup!” 🍻 Analysts, with their charts and tea leaves, predict this bearish mood will be shorter than a Bolshevik’s promise.

As central banks grapple with the dizzying whirlwind of blockchain and tokenization, the CNB has decided to dip its toe into the bubbling cauldron of digital assets. On the fateful day of November 13, the CNB conjured up a $1 million digital-asset test portfolio-pay no mind to the international reserves, dear readers-that will serve as a shiny experimental sandbox for all things technological turmoil. 🙃

Now, the banking groups argue that these perks are a form of “indirect interest.” Oh, naturally, because anything that doesn’t involve swiping a credit card or racking up ridiculous fees must surely be up to no good. 🙄

Oh, how the mighty fall, or rise, depending on your perspective. The BIT narrative, that elusive ghost, now whispers through the halls of Solana’s infrastructure. An analyst, CryptoDoc, proclaims with the fervor of a prophet that Bitdealernet is crafting an asset-backed meme launchpad, where every token is tethered to the glittering, yet hollow, world of iGaming. A realm of millions, all dancing to the tune of digital serfdom. The project, with its DeFi alliances, becomes a savior-or a scam-depending on whom you ask. Axiom, Bonkbot, Photon, BullX: these names echo like sacred scrolls, their promises as fleeting as a cryptocurrency’s value.

Travis Ford, founder of Wolf Capital Crypto Trading LLC, was sentenced to five years in federal prison yesterday for his participation in a cryptocurrency investment fraud. As per official documents, he defrauded around 2,800 investors of $9.4 million by promising 1-2% daily returns. (Because who doesn’t want to be Scrooge McDuck in a crypto bathtub?) 🦆💰

In the first 40 days of Trump’s presidency, Bitcoin stumbled out of the gate like a toddler on a sugar high. It fell below the 0% mark almost immediately and kept sliding downward like it had a personal vendetta against the bulls. First, it dipped to -10%, and then it plunged to -20%. All this chaos was set off by Trump’s tariff announcements, making the market feel like it had been kicked in the teeth-despite Trump’s claims of being “pro-crypto.” Apparently, words and policies don’t always go hand-in-hand.

With the cost of electricity hovering at a modest $0.06 per kWh, even the most efficient machines (those paragons of 27.5 W/T) barely sip from the chalice of profit, scraping by at $97,000 per Bitcoin. A breakeven so tenuous it makes a goose chase seem optimistic.

So, Ethereum decided to do a dramatic 10% plunge, because why not? It’s now chilling at $3,150, which is apparently the crypto equivalent of a safety net. Traders are sweating, wondering if this is the rebound party or just the calm before the storm. 🌪️ Meanwhile, the $3,150 zone is like the cool kid at school, attracting all the dip-buyers with its “accumulation base” vibes. 🤑

It’s November 14, 2025, and the crypto market has decided to channel its inner drama queen. 💃 The total market cap just lost $300 billion, dropping to a mere $3.22 trillion. Poor thing. Bitcoin, once the queen bee, is now below $100,000, flailing between $97,000 and $98,400. Someone fetch it a fainting couch! 🛋️ This chaos triggered $1.39 billion in liquidations. Ouch. My wallet just shuddered in sympathy.