Visa Ditches Banks for Stablecoins: Instant Pay for Creators and Gig Workers

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In a move that is somehow both predictable and still a little bizarre, Visa’s pilot program lets businesses send payouts in fiat, and, oh, the recipient will get those funds in USDC (a nice, stable stablecoin) in their crypto wallet. So… it’s like getting paid in dollars, but cooler. Also, let’s not forget that some regulations will need to be followed, like the whole KYC (Know Your Customer) thing. Because of course. 🤔

Dogecoin’s 5% Meltdown: Will It Recover? 🐕💸

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Dogecoin suffered a sharp 5.5% decline on Tuesday, declining between $0.1831 and $0.1730 in European trading.  The fall closed under the crucial support of 0.1720 on rising volume, with a volume of 500.6 million tokens, -77 percent above the daily average. 📉

tag, not repeated in the body. Also, retain images (though the original doesn’t have any, so maybe just ensure if there were, they stay). Add humor, sarcasm, and emojis. Original title: “Bitcoin Plunges Below $100K – Over $220M Liquidated in Just One Hour”. Need a clickbait version. Maybe something dramatic and over-the-top, typical of Bulgakov’s flair. “Bitcoin’s Grand Descent: $100K Shatters Like a Glass of Infernal Spirits 🍸🔥” – that’s under 100 characters. Now, the body. The original text is factual, so need to inject satire. Use metaphors, personify Bitcoin as a fallen idol, reference literary elements. For example, “the Cryptocurrency, that digital Mephistopheles” to tie in Bulgakov’s themes of devilry. Mention the market decline with a sarcastic tone, comparing the drop to a “diabolical waltz.” Use emojis like 🕯️ for candlestick charts, 💸 for liquidations, and 🎭 in the disclaimer for dramatic effect. Ensure that each section’s facts are retained but phrased with humor. The liquidation data could be described as a “carnival of carnage,” and the market cap rankings as a “tragic opera.” In the “What Comes Next?” section, suggest that BTC might rise again like a phoenix but with a sarcastic warning. Finally, the disclaimer needs to be in the same sarcastic, literary tone, using phrases like “Alas, dear reader” and emojis to keep it light. Make sure all HTML tags are correct, no tags, and structure is maintained. Check for any color styles and remove them. Ensure the title is only in the tag and not as a header in the body. Add emojis where appropriate without overdoing it.End of Thought (13.72s) Bitcoin’s Grand Descent: $100K Shatters Like a Glass of Infernal Spirits 🍸🔥

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In a performance worthy of a tragic opera, Bitcoin shed 3% of its dignity in 24 hours. Ethereum, ever the loyal jester, plummeted to $3,201, while Solana-sporting a 5% discount-landed at $145. Traders, clutching their leveraged hopes, were unceremoniously evicted from their margin-funded fantasies. 🤡

Solana’s Dilemma: A Season of Decline and Memecoin Melodrama 🤷‍♀️📉

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In this season of crypto’s fickle affections, Solana finds itself cast aside, its active addresses plummeting from 9 million to a mere 3.3 million. One might wonder if the network’s charms have dimmed, or if the world has simply grown weary of its memecoin theatrics. Alas, the latter seems true, as the fervor for digital jesters has faded faster than a summer romance.