Once-sturdy government bonds? Kiyosaki claims they’re now as reliable as a chocolate teapot. British debt melted by a third, Europe’s dropped a quarter, and Uncle Sam’s IOUs shed over 10% since 2020. This isn’t a blip, folks-it’s the financial world’s knickers catching fire 🔥.
The post spread like a rumor in a monastery, attracting replies that ranged from the merely acidic to the nuclear. The Litecoin account, ever the imp, leaned into the chaos: “I roast Solana: We laughed. I roast XRP: Legal threats! Diarrhea! Drama! Truly, the circle of life.” A subsequent plea-“Go eat a hot pocket and let’s reconvene post-nap”-only deepened the farce. 🌮🌀
Enter BtcTurk, Turkey’s leading exchange, which unfortunately found itself in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons. A cool $54 million vanished into thin air-marking its second such incident this year after losing an identical amount in June 2024. One might wonder if they’re auditioning for a tragicomic opera titled *The Exchange That Cried Wolf*. CEO Özgür Güneri confirmed unauthorized access, froze affected wallets, and vowed cooperation with authorities. But let’s be honest, at this rate, they might as well rename themselves “BtcTarget.” 🎯
XRP decided to join the “let’s fall together” party, hanging out below $3.00 alongside Bitcoin and Ethereum. It slithered past $2.95 and $2.92, entering full-on bear mode.
Then there was Bitcoin, that erratic suit clad in bits and bytes. It courted a modest 4% decline last week, leaving its fans awry, reminiscent of the perplexing serenade of a Schumann lied, ascending to the notes above $120,000, only to humbly descend back to the more earthly $100,000. 🎵
Total crypto market capitalization is up 9.9% year to date, adding more than $600 billion after weakness in the first quarter gave way to a second-quarter rebound and new highs into the third. The Binance Research report, shared with TopMob, attributes the advance to a mix of policy clarity, growing institutional access, and stronger onchain activity across major sectors. After all, who doesn’t love a bit of clarity and growth in their investment portfolio? 📈
Qui l’eût cru ? Solana s’appuie bravement contre cette muraille des 220, arborant un signe des plus prometteurs : le SMA-50 vient croiser son aîné SMA-200 dans une danse d’or propre à séduire nos espoirs les plus fous. Voilà le présage d’un changement, mesdames et messieurs, dans la lutte éternelle entre taureaux et ours – un vrai feu d’artifice dans un ciel de hausses ! Pendant que l’intrépide coursier gravite la pente ascendante, les acheteurs jouent au défenseur intraitable de leurs creux plus élevés. La cible n’en finit plus de se rapprocher; cette croix d’or est sans doute le talisman qui promet la victoire.
“The Fortune 500, nation-states, the biggest families and corporations-they’re all in! Everyone’s buying Bitcoin! So, mark my words-Bitcoin will hit $1 million, no doubt about it,” said Eric, presumably with a knowing wink. Of course, why wouldn’t they? Bitcoin’s practically on sale for anyone with a pulse and a portfolio! 😏
But lo! Do not mistake this sideways shuffle for weakness, oh no. Nay, it is but the calm before the storm-a prelude to what cunning analysts predict will be a triumphant rebound. Ah, the drama unfolds!