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Hoskinson’s barbs were aimed squarely at Cyber Capital’s Justin Bons, whose thread dismissed Cardano’s scalability as a mere “23 transactions per second.” 😏 “Facts, my dear fellow, are not playthings,” Hoskinson chided, his tone dripping with the disdain of a lepidopterist confronted with a misidentified moth. “Leios is no phantom,” he declared, brandishing the CIP as a talisman. “We have the blueprint, the design, the audacity to proceed.” 📜🦋

It all went down on Nov. 6, when the Tron mogul decided to move 45,000 ETH out of AAVE and onto Lido, giving them the royal staking treatment. You know, that fancy Staked Ether Token contract (STETH) stuff. If you don’t understand it, don’t worry, just know that Sun’s wallet now has more ETH than TRX for a split second. Tron’s glory days may be… shifting? 🤔

Dogecoin (DOGE), that most capricious of assets, has attempted a recovery from the $0.15 support region, yet its efforts are as convincing as a suitor’s poetry. The weak rebound, one must confess, suggests the bears still hold the reins of this financial chariot. Unless a surge of buyers arrives with the enthusiasm of a Christmas turkey at a feast, the coin may soon find itself tumbling toward lower supports, much to the delight of the market’s more pragmatic observers.

Announced on a Thursday (because why not?), this integration lets users prove they’re old enough to crypto without revealing whether they’re 25 or 125. It’s like showing your ID to a bouncer who’s wearing a blindfold. 🕶️ Verification happens off-chain (whatever that means-sounds like a bad dance move) via third-party providers who promise not to store your personal data on the blockchain. Because, you know, privacy is cool and all, but so is not having your birthday plastered on the internet. 🎂

Oh, the markets-where every day is a new drama, and the only thing more volatile than Bitcoin is my patience. 🤯

During the conference’s closing fireside chat-a moment as cozy as a barn dance but with more PowerPoint-Garlinghouse rattled off Ripple’s achievements this year. A $500 million funding round at a $40 billion valuation? Check. Major partnerships and acquisitions? Double check. New products like a prime brokerage service? Triple check. It’s enough to make a man forget he’s been staring at candlestick charts for hours. 🕯️💼

According to the ever-accurate CoinGlass, the past hour has been nothing short of a financial disaster for the over-leveraged. Liquidations hit a staggering $244,110. Of this, a mind-boggling $242,130 came from longs-those brave souls betting on Doge’s triumphant rally-while shorts barely squeaked by at $1,980. This means a tidal wave of 12,129% more longs were wiped out than shorts. Truly, a poetic justice wrapped in a meme. 😂

In a letter that could’ve been written by a sleep-deprived bard, Coinbase implored the Treasury to spare non-issuer entities (like themselves) from the ban on stablecoin interest payments. “We align with Congress’s intent!” they declared, as if Congress were a fickle lover whose every whim must be obeyed. One wonders if Congress, during its brief moment of lucidity, ever envisioned a world where stablecoins could yield more drama than a Tolstoy novel.

As exchange reserves shrink and traders twitch with anticipation, Ethereum’s market resembles a tightly wound spring. Will it bounce or snap? The suspense is killing us. 🎪

The timing, one must admit, is as striking as a misfired punchline at a comedy club. While Bitcoin and Ethereum languish, their grandeur dimmed by broader market declines, investors appear to be fleeing to the more risqué corners of the crypto bazaar. Memecoins, those whimsical creatures of the digital age, offer not only risk but also the intoxicating allure of spectacle. What is life without a touch of the absurd, after all?