The divine Lucie, a beacon of sense in a world of nonsense, has taken to her platform to spell it out for the slower members of the party. Her advice, which one must assume was delivered with a raised eyebrow and a sigh of exasperation, is to simply avoid any link that promises a secret soiree or a private preview of the upgrade.
With more views than a Vegas buffet and viral clips that make you question humanity’s priorities, this trio is on a mission to make poker “more accessible and culturally relevant.” 🌍✨ Because nothing says “cultural relevance” like bluffing your way through a high-stakes game while wearing sunglasses indoors. John Scanlon, COO of CoinPoker, chimed in with the kind of corporate speak that makes you want to fold immediately: “We’re partnering with top-tier talent to make poker more entertaining and authentic than ever.” Authentic? Sure, Jan. 🤷♂️
Lo and behold! Ethereum (ETH) is en route to claim its most splendid third quarter since its birthing pains back in 2015. A performance so dazzling, it makes other cryptocurrencies envious, as they nibble their nails with longing.
On some cyber-throne, Buterin shares his thoughts via Farcaster, launching a volley of criticism. Prediction markets, he asserts, are as useful for hedgers as a bucket with no bottom. Their flaw is blindingly simple: these platforms lack the juicy interest-bearing trinkets of ‘real’ finance. Users must surrender the sweet taste of yields, trading the sturdy bread of bonds for the sawdust of speculation. No wonder they attract only gamblers and the mathematically ambitious-hedging here is as effective as wearing a raincoat in the Sahara.
Remember when Bitcoin was worth less than your morning latte? ☕ In 2010, it was a few cents. Fast forward to 2025, and it’s sitting pretty at over $100K, after hitting a jaw-dropping $123K ATH in July. 🤑 If you’d invested back then, your ROI would be a cool 188,643,000%. Yes, you read that right. Now, even Mastercard and JP Morgan are jumping on the bandwagon. 🚀
As an analyst, I can share that I’ve learned about a collaborative initiative among three crypto firms who have appointed Cantor Fitzgerald as their lead banker. The goal of this alliance is to acquire a publicly-traded company and establish a Digital Asset Treasury Company, according to sources familiar with the situation.
So, Pi shot up because everyone thought, “This time, it’s the real deal.” Mainnet launch, big exchange listings, world domination-sounds familiar? But then, development delays, utility questions, and a dash of clock-watching despair dimmed the shiny glow. The hype cooled faster than a latte in a heatwave, and the price dipped, dipped, dipped. Looks like the crypto bubble met its popcorn-fueled expiration date.
A colossal long liquidation event has resurrected $110,000 as a new CME gap, a glimmer of hope for bulls who clearly forgot what caution means. 🎢
It seems SBI Holdings is betting the farm on Chainlink [LINK] to unleash crypto mayhem on Asia’s financial playground. And isn’t that just perfect timing?
Now, this leak wasn’t just about moving money about, oh no. It mentioned these ghastly things called ‘biometric identity systems’ – meaning they want to know exactly who you are when you buy a biscuit! The document, so they say, outlines devising a network with compliance, digital IDs, and ‘tokenized assets’ – whatever those are. And tucked right in the middle? XRP, acting as a sort of incredibly reliable bridge. Quite clever, really, if you’re a villain.😈
