Finance Minister Satsuki Katayama, that riverboat captain of fiscal policy, declared the government’s full-throated support for cramming digital assets into stock and commodity exchanges. Said it during her New Year’s speech at the Tokyo Stock Exchange-because nothing says “trust me” like addressing investors while sipping green tea and bowing. 🫖🎩
Pepe, the coin that makes you wonder if the internet has finally lost its marbles, has been on a tear this week. As of January 4, 2026, it’s trading near $0.000007-a number so small it makes you question if your calculator is broken. But hey, in the world of meme coins, even a speck of dust can turn into a gold nugget. Retail traders and short-term speculators are frothing at the mouth like a dog with a bone, and who can blame them? It’s not every day you see a 64% weekly gain unless you’re watching a soap opera plot twist. 🧼🚀
The year of our Lord 2025, however, was arguably unkind to the esteemed followers of this cryptic currency. Alas, Shiba Inu, having lost favour with fortune, did not aspire to its former grandeur, and even dipped into a lengthy melancholy decline-a turn of events most distressing. Yet, as the dawn of 2026 began to break upon the world, there flickered a hopeful glow. Despite the tragic lamentations of Bitcoin, struggling in its role, the playful reputation coins, including our Shiba Inu, seemed to seize upon an increase in seasonal speculation.
After years of lurking in Bitcoin’s shadow like an awkward younger sibling, Ethereum finally remembered it had a pulse. Price did a cute little jump above $3,050 and then-plot twist-stormed past $3,120 like it had something to prove.
The blockchain scribes, the analytics firm Lookonchain, uncovered three digital wallets, their coffers bloated with $630,484 by betting on Maduro’s ouster. The timing? A ballet of chaos, raising eyebrows across the crypto realm. 🤯
You won’t believe this, but some smarty-pants over at Polymarket placed bets that’d make your granny blush-right before Nicolás Maduro got himself into a pickle. Meanwhile, some blockchain sleuths spotted a wallet actin’ all suspicious, like a fox in a henhouse. Now, the bigwigs in Washington are scratchin’ their heads, wonderin’ if prediction markets need a good ol’ fashioned spankin’.
And apparently, the stars have aligned, or rather, some lines on a chart have crossed. A “golden cross,” they’re calling it. Which sounds suspiciously like something alchemists used to babble about while trying to turn lead into gold. Only this time, it involves numbers that mostly exist on the internet. The 50-thingy went above the 200-thingy. Very dramatic. 🙄
Btcparser.com version one keeps track of over 60,000 ‘sleeping’ Bitcoin wallets – basically, the ones you’d expect to be six feet under, financially speaking. These wallets were all created between 2009 and 2017, which honestly feels like a lifetime ago in crypto years. Unlike 2024, no wallets from the very beginning (2009!) actually moved any funds. And 2010-era wallets? They went quiet too, but 2011 was where things got interesting…very interesting indeed.
Ashen faces of market analysts might speak forever of uncertainty, peering into the ether while the long-term prospects of MYX’s rally linger in flux, muddied like a 1951 Magnum in a bog. AMBCrypto, armed with a verbosity rivaling even the verbose Pnin, pertinently dissects these recent phenomena, peeling back the layers to reveal the core:
Basically, Kulechov thinks Aave is too cool to just be about crypto. He wants, and I quote, a $500 trillion asset base and “tens of millions of users.” Tens of millions! That’s like… a lot of people taking out loans. He’s looking at real-world assets (RWAs) – think houses, art, Beanie Babies… okay, probably not Beanie Babies. He envisions a future where Aave isn’t just for the crypto-savvy, but for your grandma too. (Though honestly, your grandma should probably stick to CDs. Just sayin’.)