Crypto analyst Henry, ever the dramatist, has revealed on X that Linea was built from first principles as a reinforcement layer for ETH’s future. The reason Linea is catching serious attention? Over $1 billion in TVL and $130 million in stablecoins represent real liquidity inflow-unlike those inflated metrics that make even the most ardent investors weep. 🙃
Imagine, if you will, a world where balance sheets become anchors, tethering Bitcoin’s price to the $105K-$110K abyss. Will demand hold firm, or shall we all be swept into the vortex of financial absurdity? 🌪️
The timing, my dear reader, is as impeccable as a Wildean wit at a society ball. As American AI firms fling billions into the void of research, their Chinese counterparts, like the cunning DeepSeek, achieve comparable feats with a mere fraction of the expense. This, of course, has transformed the AI industry into a ludicrous arms race, where superpowers vie not for the soul of humanity, but for the dubious honor of creating the most expensive paperweight in history. 🏭⚔️
The handover, which is as thrilling as watching paint dry, gives Lombard control of BTC.b’s technical framework and bridge system, which links native bitcoin ( BTC) to Avalanche. The companies said the transition is intended to maintain BTC.b’s current function on Avalanche while extending its compatibility with other blockchains. ⚖️
In this revision, the issuer most audaciously removed something known in the vulgar parlance as a “delaying amendment.” I daresay, it is quite the modern equivalent of tearing up one’s dance card before the evening has even begun! 🕺💃
The man (or woman, or alien, who knows?) hasn’t moved a single coin in 15 years. Yes, you read that right-15 years. And yet, despite staying as silent as a monk, his holdings still took a nosedive. The value of the Bitcoins in those wallets dropped to a “modest” $117 billion, according to Arkam Intelligence. Oh, the humanity. 😶
SpaceX has been playing crypto Jenga, and the latest block fell on Oct. 29, thanks to onchain sleuth Sani from Timechainindex.com. “SpaceX just sent 281 BTC into the void!” Sani tweeted, probably while wearing a tinfoil hat. 🧢
In true “we’ve got this under control” fashion, the team behind Garden Finance is keeping quiet. No big public statement, just a cheeky on-chain message to the thief offering a 10% white-hat bounty. Because, who wouldn’t want to return stolen assets for a 10% cut? 🍀
Bitwise Asset Management, that modern-day alchemist, insists investing in Solana is like betting on two harebrained schemes at once: 1) the stablecoin and tokenization market will balloon like a hot-air balloon in a tornado, and 2) Solana will snag a bigger slice of that pie than a glutton at Thanksgiving. 🥧
Could this be the prelude to a reprise of the July 2025 rally? Or merely a fleeting dream in the theater of the absurd? 🎭
