Paxos Fined Millions! New York Agencies Catch Crypto Lapses Faster Than Wizards

In the swirling magical vortex of finance-otherwise known as New York-an ancient and revered order called the Department of Financial Services waved its staff (the metaphorical kind, disappointingly) and declared: “Paxos, we see you’ve been playing Dungeons & Drag-wait, that’s Binance!-with your compliance checks. And, dear Paxos, letting possible U.S. users slip through your platform is as stealthy as a six-foot troll in a tutu.” 🕵️‍♂️

Paxos found itself not only clutching a $22 million bill (“That’s one expensive lecture in bureaucracy!” muttered an intern), but also vowing to reinforce its compliance castle with all the latest anti-wizardry spells… er, systems. “Yes, yes, some cobwebs under the rug, but the spiders have long since packed up and moved to friendlier jurisdictions,” the firm explained, probably while winking furiously.

Meanwhile, the fine comes as NYDFS previously banished Paxos from the noble art of minting BUSD tokens back in 2023, thus ending their brief reign as stablecoin sorcerers. The SEC had also poked its head in-only to leave, disappointed, muttering about the lack of dramatic courtroom battles.

If you fancy schadenfreude, you’ll enjoy the subplot where Binance’s former grand wizard, Changpeng Zhao, pleaded guilty to crimes of considerable magical mischief and offered up a $4 billion settlement. That’s the kind of pocket change that makes even the richest goblins weep. 🤑

Paxos, meanwhile, assures everyone that not a single customer was harmed. The company is cheerfully skipping off into the sunset, humming the tune of “Let’s Never Speak of This Again.”


If you’re reading this for investment tips, please recall: this isn’t financial advice. In fact, you should probably seek the counsel of a wise, licensed advisor-or just ask a friendly neighborhood wizard-before making money decisions of any sort. Coindoo.com isn’t telling you where to put your gold, and neither am I. The Discworld is complicated enough, thank you very much. 🧙‍♂️

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2025-08-07 23:47