Pi Network’s Comedy of Errors: Selling, Waiting, and Still No dApps!

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In a July thick with the dust of digital hope, the great Pioneers of Pi Network watched the on-chain data as a farmer might eye parched fields, hoping for rain. But rain did not come; instead, the sky delivered another form of precipitation—selling pressure, heavy and rather dampening to the soul.

Curious evidence emerged—call it a twist in our provincial drama. The amount of Pi meandering into centralized exchanges blossomed, as if drawn by the irresistible aroma of speculative cabbage soup.

Over 400 Million PI Held on CEXs in July—Don’t All Rush at Once!

Consider this farce: BeInCrypto reported that exchanges now cradle a record 370 million Pi—an amount sufficient to give even a czarina pause. Yet by July’s twilight, this sum whispers past 405 million, a plump gain of nearly 10%, confirmed by those keeping the ledgers at Piscan (the Tolstoys of on-chain statistics, perhaps).

And why stop there? August may bear even riper fruit (or is it weeds?), for 161.6 million more PI will squeak out from digital cupboards—ready to circulate, or perhaps, to loiter aimlessly.

Now, a wise man once said: “A fat purse is a comfort—unless everyone’s too broke to trade it.” Pi’s 24-hour trading volume shuffled around below $100 million through July, according to CoinMarketCap. Compare this to May, when optimism (or madness?) ruled and volume soared from $500 million up to $2 billion.

So Pi’s price is not unlike that of old Uncle Vanya’s cherry orchard—falling, always falling. BeInCrypto glanced at the candles (they do love candles!), finding Pi at its lowest level ever at $0.419. A milestone, of sorts, though not one for commemorative vodka shots.

To keep spirits from total collapse, the Pi Network team produced new features: “Buy Pi” with fiat, Pi App Studio, and Ecosystem Directory Staking—which is a bit like offering umbrellas during a drought.

Analyst Identifies Two Major Problems—But Who’s Counting?

Enter Kim H Wong, Pi’s ever-hopeful advocate—perhaps our tragic hero. He speaks of two problems, though we suspect there may be a few more lurking backstage with the prop hands.

First: Where are the dApps? There are fewer here than in a Russian village on a Monday—hardly anyone barters, trades, or builds. Pi Coin, thus far, is less currency than decorative badge.

Second: The coin, once transferred, is as locked up as a minor noble after midnight. So much potential!—if only anyone could use it.

“The solutions are to open up the apps, and migration, and perhaps a moon landing while we’re at it,” Kim muttered into the samovar. “Otherwise, Pi will forever circle the drain like an unclaimed samovar at a bankrupt estate sale.”

Ray Youssef, a grizzled chief from NoOnes and formerly of Paxful, chimed in. He sees only users (many!), but developers? Like snow in July—beautiful, theoretical, nowhere to be found.

“Pi succeeded on the retail,” says Ray, stirring his tea with a sigh. “Millions mine it—but developers, the stable is thin indeed.”

Without real-world usefulness, even a glorious Binance listing might end not in celebration, but in a mad dash to sell—panic, suspended between tragedy and farce, with everyone left clutching their Pi and wondering if perhaps potatoes would have been the better investment. 🥔😂

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2025-07-31 13:22