Robinhood Joins S&P 500: Larry David Thinks It’s About Time 🙄

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So, Robinhood, the trading app everyone’s mom uses, is finally getting a seat at the grown-ups’ table, the S&P 500. Replacing Caesars Entertainment, I guess they figured someone needed to keep an eye on the gambling, but from a tech angle. 🎰

Robinhood, the app that made trading as easy as ordering a pizza, is now a big kid in the U.S. markets. They’ve been shaking things up by letting people trade without paying those pesky commissions. And you know what? It’s working. Their stock jumped over 7%, like they just won the lottery. 🎉

Analysts, who are usually as excited as a rock, are actually buzzing about this. They say it shows Robinhood isn’t just a flash in the pan; they’re legit. Big money investors are taking notice, and Robinhood will officially join the S&P 500 on September 22. Can’t wait for the party. 🥳

Could Robinhood Become the S&P’s Top Performer?

With a market cap of over $89 billion, Robinhood is already a giant. One analyst, probably wearing a suit and a frown, predicted that either Robinhood or AppLovin would get the nod on September 5. The only thing that might have held them back? The S&P already added another broker, Interactive Brokers (IBKR). But hey, more brokers can’t hurt, right? 🤷‍♂️

And if you’re wondering, yes, this analyst thinks Robinhood could outperform even Palantir. I mean, why not? It’s not like they’re selling pet rocks. 🧐

Robinhood’s Explosive Growth

Let’s talk numbers, because numbers are fun, especially when they go up:

  • Transaction-based revenue surged 65% to $539 million. That’s more than my rent for the next decade.
  • Crypto trading revenue rose 98% to $160 million. Someone’s making a killing in Bitcoin.
  • Crypto trading volume climbed 32% to $28 billion. I think I saw a zero missing somewhere.
  • Total platform assets climbed 99% to $279 billion, driven by equity and crypto gains. That’s more than I’ll ever see in my life, unless I win the lottery. Twice.

In June, Robinhood dropped $200 million on Bitstamp and rolled out new crypto products, including 200+ tokenized U.S. stocks and ETFs in Europe, crypto perpetual futures in the EU, and staking for U.S. customers. They’re basically trying to corner the market on everything. 🌐

MicroStrategy Misses Out On S&P

The S&P 500 is like the cool kids’ club, and so far, only two crypto-related firms have made the cut: Coinbase and Jack Dorsey’s Block. MicroStrategy, the company that hoards Bitcoin like it’s going out of style, was expected to join. But nope. Their shares took a hit, slipping nearly 3% in after-hours trading. 📉

Jeff Park, CIO at ProCap BTC and former Bitwise exec, says the exclusion wasn’t about MicroStrategy’s fundamentals but about the S&P committee’s mood swings. While Robinhood was the better choice this time, MicroStrategy will likely get its spot eventually. 🕵️‍♂️

Crypto Increases Grip on Wall Street

With Robinhood’s inclusion, the S&P 500 now has three crypto-linked companies: Coinbase, Block, and Robinhood. This means crypto is no longer just a niche market; it’s a force to be reckoned with. 🚀

As politics and regulations become more crypto-friendly, the new era for digital assets is here. Get ready for the future, folks. It’s going to be a wild ride. 🎢

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2025-09-06 10:38