SEC’s ETF Waiting Room: 92 Crypto Cockroaches Bide Time!

Bloomberg Intelligence’s James Seyffart, that clever cuss of crypto, has drawn up a list of 92 ETF proposals now clogging the SEC’s docket like a barrel of overzealous squirrels. These filings, spanning Nasdaq, NYSE Arca, and Cboe, are tied to bitcoin, ethereum, and a smorgasbord of altcoins-because who doesn’t want their money tied to a “Nasdaq Crypto Index” or a “TRUMP-themed ETF”? 🐺

Seyffart’s X post reveals a carnival of crypto chaos: Hashdex, Franklin Templeton, and Bitwise all jostling for space with their baskets of BTC and ETH. Grayscale’s GDLC conversion sits there like a sleeping bear, waiting to stir. It’s a feast for the SEC, who now have more paperwork than a riverboat gambler’s ledger. 📄

Single-asset ETFs dominate the middle of Seyffart’s chart, with Grayscale and Canary playing tag like two hounds in a cornfield. Litecoin, Solana, XRP, and even a Polkadot trust are all queued up-because nothing says “financial stability” like a trust in Hedera. 🤷‍♂️

The SOL and XRP crowd? A stampede. Vaneck, 21shares, Bitwise, Franklin Templeton, and Fidelity all have their hats in the ring, like prospectors panning for gold in a crypto stream. Seyffart’s image shows these tokens as the SEC’s favorite party guests-frequent, loud, and always leaving a mess. 🐢

Cardano, Avalanche, and Doge also make appearances, because why not? Bitwise’s DOGE entry is like a puppy in a suit, and 21shares’ Polkadot ETF is a kaleidoscope of confusion. The SEC’s final decisions? Marked in October, like a calendar full of “maybe” and “not today.” 🗓️

Conversions of OTC products pop up too-Osprey’s OBTC and Grayscale’s trusts are like old hats being pressed into new coats. The SEC’s rulebook? A labyrinth of 1933 and 1934 Acts, where even the lawyers get lost. 🧠

Truth Social and Yorkville’s filings are like a circus act: “Truth Social Bitcoin ETF” and “Crypto Blue Chip ETF” are all over the map, trying to pre-clear rules like a snake oil salesman. The exchanges? Smiling, because they’ve seen this show before. 🎪

The derivatives and levered crowd? A firestorm of “2X XRP,” “-2X SOL,” and even a “Melania” ETF (because why not?). Proshares and Teucrium are throwing their hats in the ring like a poker game gone mad. The SEC’s green light on a 2X SOL product? A rare victory in a sea of red dates. 🃏

REX-OSPREY’s shelf is a grab bag of ETH, BTC, and even a TRUMP-themed product-because politics and crypto are a match made in chaos. Bitwise and Vaneck add Chainlink and BNB to the mix, while 21shares flits between SUI and ONDO like a hummingbird on espresso. 🦜

The right-hand columns of Seyffart’s table are a graveyard of deadlines-red for delays, green for approvals, and yellow for “we’re still pretending to care.” The SEC’s got more delays than a Mississippi steamboat in a drought. 🚢💨

If these filings clear, the ETF market will bloom beyond BTC and ETH into a garden of Solana, XRP, Cardano, and more. But whether they’ll ever see the light of day? Well, the SEC’s got more secrets than a treasure map and twice as many red ink. 🕵️‍♂️

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2025-09-02 21:38