Markets
What farce awaits, dear reader:
- StarkWare, once a proud stallion in the blockchain circus, now prances into the arena of restructuring, shedding jobs like autumn leaves as its Starknet revenue shrivels to a mere 1% of its former glory.
- The illustrious CEO, Eli Ben-Sasson, proclaims a grand pivot-away from the noble task of scaling Ethereum and into the murky waters of “revenue-generating products.” Ah, the sweet scent of desperation!
- Behold, the new Applications unit, led by the intrepid Avihu Levy, shall chase high-revenue chimeras with minimal reliance on external blockchains. His masterpiece? A quantum-resistant Bitcoin scheme so costly it makes a nobleman’s dinner bill look frugal.
In a spectacle that would make even the Nose blush with envy, StarkWare is slicing itself into two business units and trimming its staff like a gardener pruning dead branches. The cause? A catastrophic 99% collapse in revenue from its once-majestic Starknet network. Oh, the folly of technological hubris!
During a town hall-a gathering more somber than a Gogol protagonist’s birthday-CEO Eli Ben-Sasson unveiled this grand reorganization. The company, he declared, shall now focus on crafting products so unique, so unparalleled, that competitors shall weep into their tea. A transcript of this dramatic address was, of course, reviewed by the ever-watchful CoinDesk.
Starknet’s revenue, which once soared to nearly $6 million in a single month in late 2023, now lingers at a paltry $48,000 through the first half of April 2026. Ah, the cruel hand of fate! The decline, they say, is industry-wide, thanks to Ethereum’s EIP-4844 upgrade, which slashed Layer 2 fees like a Cossack’s saber. Yet, Total Value Locked remains above $200 million-a glimmer of hope in this tragicomedy.
Ben-Sasson, with a gravitas befitting a Russian general, proclaimed the need to “take our technological superiority… and convert it into meaningful revenue, meaningful usage.” A shift, indeed, from the lofty ideals of infrastructure to the grubby reality of profit. “Things that can be done by no other team, in no other way,” he intoned, as if unveiling a secret alchemical formula.
“I started in this field in 2013, almost 13 years ago, and I’ve seen quite a number of winters,” he mused, his voice heavy with the weight of experience. “This winter, however, is marked by a vacuum in leadership so vast, it affects even the mighty Bitcoin and Ethereum.” Ah, the existential angst of the blockchain world!
Enter Avihu Levy, promoted to lead the new Applications unit, fresh from publishing a paper on Quantum Safe Bitcoin (QSB). A scheme so audacious, it replaces traditional signatures with hash-based proofs, at a cost of $75 to $200 per transaction. A bargain, surely, for the quantum-conscious aristocrat!
QSB, they say, offers an alternative to BIP-360, a proposal so languid it makes Russian bureaucracy look efficient. Yet, Ben-Sasson remains coy, refusing to name Bitcoin or quantum safety as the unit’s target. “Products that cannot be done by any of our competitors,” he declared, with a flourish worthy of Chichikov himself.
More details, he promised, would come next week. A spokesperson for StarkWare, however, declined to comment-a silence more eloquent than any words.
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2026-04-13 12:49