Ah, the exquisite ballet of finance! The world’s most voluminous stablecoin issuer, Tether, has been graced with the distinction of a “5”-the numerical equivalent of a raspberry blown in the face of fiscal propriety-by the fastidious analysts at S&P. This, my dear reader, is the lowest possible grade, a mark so ignominious it could only be bestowed upon a currency whose stability is as reliable as a Nabokovian narrator’s memory. 🧐✨
Previously, these same analysts had deigned to award USDT a “4,” a rating that whispered of “constrained” ability to cling to the dollar like a barnacle to a ship. But oh, how the mighty have fallen! The new rating of “5” plunges it into the abyss of “weak,” a word that drips with the sarcasm of a Russian novelist observing the follies of mankind. In their November 26 report, the analysts, with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer, cited Tether’s increasing dalliance with “high-risk assets”-Bitcoin, gold, secured loans, corporate bonds, and “other investments”-as the raison d’être for this downgrade. 🤑💔
The report, a masterpiece of bureaucratic prose, also flagged what it termed “other weaknesses” in USDT’s structure and distribution. These included a transparency so limited it would make a Nabokov character blush, a regulatory framework as robust as a house of cards, no asset segregation to shield against insolvency, and redeemability so constrained it might as well be a mirage. 🌵🤡
The Stablecoin Stability Assessment
Tether’s USDT, with its market capitalization of approximately $185 billion at the time of this article’s composition, according to the ever-vigilant CoinMarketCap, holds the lion’s share of the stablecoin market. Its nearest competitor, Circle’s USDC, trails behind with a mere $75 billion, a David to Tether’s Goliath. By the numbers, USDT’s dominance is so absolute it could make a monarch weep. 👑🤑
With 135 billion of U.S. Treasuries, Tether is now the 17th largest holder of U.S. debt, surpassing even South Korea. Soon Brazil! 🇧🇷🚀
– Paolo Ardoino 🤖 (@paoloardoino) October 29, 2025
The S&P assessment, while acknowledging Tether’s market share and lauding USDT’s relative stability, could not ignore the tempest brewing in the cryptocurrency markets. With Bitcoin trading at six-month lows and the overall market in a downturn so severe it could only be described as a Nabokovian plot twist, the analysts deemed the downgrade a “neutral” movement rather than a “negative” one. A mere shrug in the face of chaos. 🤷♂️💨
The true crux of the report, however, lay in Tether’s treasury. According to the S&P analysts, high-risk assets constituted 24% of Tether’s total reserves as of September 30, 2025, a 7% increase year-over-year. And then there was Bitcoin, that volatile siren, representing 5.6% of USDT in circulation, exceeding the 3.9% overcollateralization margin. A recipe for disaster, one might say, with all the inevitability of a Nabokovian tragedy. 🎭💥
The analysts, with the gravitas of oracles, warned that a further decline in Bitcoin’s price or the value of other high-risk assets could reduce Tether’s collateral coverage, potentially leaving USDT undercollateralized. A fate so dire it could only be described as a financial Lolita-beautiful, dangerous, and utterly unpredictable. 🌪️💔
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2025-11-27 03:15