Three Companies Throw $278 Million at Bitcoin—Now Everyone’s an Expert

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What to know:

  • This week, three companies decided, “Hey, let’s buy more bitcoin!”—and somehow scrounged up $278 million. I guess there was nothing better on Netflix. 🤷‍♂️
  • Remixpoint, out of Japan, went big—or went home. $215 million! I sneeze and lose more than that in my couch cushions. (No, I don’t.)
  • Sweden’s H100 Group and Canada’s LQWD Technologies also got in on the fun, flashing some cash like they’re at a midlife crisis car lot.

So companies are hoarding bitcoin now. That’s the thing, apparently. You get a treasury, you fill it with bitcoin, and suddenly everyone’s an innovator. Adopters everywhere, money flying around like confetti. I mean, whatever happened to actual piggy banks?

Remixpoint (3825)—who, by the way, do “energy consulting” (whatever that means; is that just telling people to turn off lights?)—just announced they scraped together 31.5 billion yen ($215 million). They already have 1,051 BTC, but who cares? They want more. Their “near-term goal” is 3,000 BTC. Dream big, Remixpoint. Hope you’ve got a chart for that. 📈🙄

H100 Group from Sweden (because of course it’s Sweden, they have Ikea and now… bitcoin) is apparently into health tech but decided to health-up their balance sheet instead. They landed another 516 million kronor ($54 million)—“Tranche 6 and 7” because just having one tranche would be too simple. Now holding 248 BTC. Will it change the world? Probably not, but at least their accountants are busy.

And then there’s LQWD Technologies, which, if you say out loud, sounds like a new mouthwash. These Canadians run something called the Lightning Network—sounds fast, right? They bumped up their round to $9 million. Their grand plan? More bitcoin! They’ve got 181 BTC, and I’m sure they’re feeling like rockstars around the office. Or… at least less boring.

So, there you go—everyone’s stuffing their treasuries with bitcoin. Next week: I’m buying six million Skee-Ball tickets so I can be called a “Skee-Ball Whale.” 🐳🎟️

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2025-07-09 12:03