Trump’s Bitcoin: To the Moon or a Black Hole?🚀

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So, apparently, the Trump family has decided to get into the Bitcoin business. American Bitcoin, a company with the rather intriguing connection to the former President’s offspring, decided to grace the Nasdaq with its presence. And, wouldn’t you know it, the first day was
eventful. Up 16% they said! 🧐 Millions added to the family coffers, naturally. It’s all perfectly normal, really.

It all started with a merger, because that’s how these things work, isn’t it? American Bitcoin (a name that just *screams* subtlety) emerged from the ashes – or rather, the existing entity – of Gryphon Digital Mining. Quite the phoenix act, if I do say so myself.

The initial trading was like a caffeinated squirrel on a rollercoaster. One minute it was up 91% (from a starting point of $6.90, mind you – pocket change!), peaking at $13.20. The next? Plunging faster than a bad poll number, hitting a low of $6.72. The Nasdaq had to hit the pause button… five times. Five! You’d think they’d learn.

This is the latest addition to the Trump family’s growing collection of digital assets. It’s a veritable crypto kingdom, folks. Other companies are jumping on the bandwagon too, although I suspect the reasons vary.📈

Eric Trump Declares “Floodgates” are Opening

Eric Trump, the co-founder and strategy chief (a title that sounds incredibly important, doesn’t it?), told Bloomberg that it was “an unbelievable day.” You don’t say. He claimed he got into Bitcoin “after owning it for several years.” A true visionary. He also predicted “floodgates” opening. Let’s hope they don’t accidentally unleash a rogue AI.

Apparently, he started this whole thing because he was supposedly “illegitimately debunked” from financial platforms. A very serious grievance, indeed. His father, he insisted, had absolutely nothing to do with it. Right. And I’m the Queen of England. 👑

Oh, and remember when Donald Trump called Bitcoin “based on thin air” and a “scam”? Apparently, he’s “always been a proponent!” The cognitive dissonance is strong with this one.

Mining and Buying – A Winning Combination?

The plan, according to Eric Trump, is to both mine and buy Bitcoin. A bit like hedging your bets, isn’t it? Because why choose when you can do both? They’ll switch strategies based on “shareholder value,” naturally. Because that’s all that matters, isn’t it? They currently own a rather hefty $273 million worth of the stuff.

Another Trump Crypto Project

If one Trump crypto venture wasn’t enough, there’s another. World Liberty Financial, with tokens listing this week, has
 well, not been doing so great. Down 30% from debut, and continuing its downward spiral. It’s almost as if people are skeptical. đŸ€Šâ€â™€ïž The Trump family, unsurprisingly, stands to profit handsomely from this venture, too.

Eric Trump, when questioned about his own sizable stake (estimated at $548 million), casually remarked they are “incredibly fortunate” anyway. Modesty is a virtue, they say.

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2025-09-04 07:01