On a Monday that was otherwise as dull as boiled turnip, the good people of South Korea-masters of kimchi, K-drama, and feverish chart-watching-received a telegramme that ought to have been wrapped in red silk and delivered by cackling imps: “Upbit opens gates for API3!” The token, which moments earlier had the market value of a bent tram-ticket, promptly shot skyward like a cat flung from a sixth-floor window. 🐱💸
The bulletin arrived precisely at the hour when every office worker is pretending to do spreadsheets while secretly staring at candlesticks. One could almost hear the rustle of collective gasps: “API3? That little pipsqueak?” And so, from a hopeless $0.748 it ballooned to a triumphant $1.82, a rise so vertical that Pythagoras himself would have blushed. 143%-a number that sounds almost Biblical in its absurdity. Behold, the parting of the order book!
Alas, gravity-that old bore-soon yanked our hero downward; the coin settled at $1.34, leaving latecomers clutching dreams as bruised as yesterday’s borscht. Still, market cap now scratched $169.72 million, granting the token the prestigious rank of 350th, wedged somewhere between two memecoins named after household pets. 🎪
But what is API3? Permit me a parenthesis, dear reader, before your nap overtakes you. This merry little oracle, in cahoots with decentralized applications, promises to ferry real-world data across the blockchain like a dutiful postal devil. No quills, no contracts-just click, integrate, voilà. They call it “Api3 Market”, presumably because “Instant API Drugstore” sounded too suspicious. 🧙♂️✨
The project, intoxicated with its own bloom, tweeted from its tower: “We’re proud to be listed on Upbit…”-as if Napoleon had announced, “We’re proud our cousin found employment in Moscow!” Still, the Koreans cheered, the Koreans traded, the Koreans probably bought lambos on credit cards. 🇰🇷🚗
Note bene: This chronicle is intended neither as investment gospel nor financial prophecy. Keep your wallets close, your emotions closer, and remember: every rocket eventually searches for a place to land-usually on someone’s portfolio. 🚀🔥
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2025-08-21 03:04