Canary Capital, that tireless factory of financial contraptions, returns to the arena with a new invention: an ETF devoted to crypto projects birthed, raised, and occasionally traumatized in the grand old United States. Somewhere, a bald eagle wipes a tear, and a trader stares at his screens, dreaming of bitcoin, freedom, and maybe a sandwich 🍔.
- Canary Capital tosses another ETF onto the pile, this time for “authentic” American crypto projects-accept no foreign imitations!
- Tokens like Uniswap, Solana, and Chainlink are allegedly standing by, ready to march under the red, white, and blue banner.
- Not their first rodeo: Earlier, Canary Capital tried selling us on a Trump Coin ETF. That’s not a punchline, but it should be.
Modern investing has become an unholy stew of politics, memes, and whatever your crazy neighbor shouts at you about on Facebook. August 22: the day Canary Capital lobbed its S-1 at the SEC, proposing the “American-Made Crypto ETF”-presumably the financial equivalent of apple pie, but with more volatility and less sugar.
What counts as “Made in America”? Projects created, mined, or prodded along by sweaty, hopeful hands somewhere between Miami and Montana. Expect a roll-call of Uniswap (UNI), Chainlink (LINK), Solana (SOL) and Injective (INJ), each risking the wilds of Wall Street in pursuit of ~patriotic~ returns.
Those proof-of-stake tokens, bless their hearts, will be staked for extra yield-the ETF will sprinkle those spoils onto shareholder’s heads or stuff them back into the fund’s mattress. Unlike other more complicated ETFs, this one stubbornly avoids holding futures or derivatives. To the moon? Maybe. To the basement? Also possible. 🚀🧻
Not that anyone’s pretending this fund is safe. The filings warn everyone twice about the “high risk,” the “low liquidity,” and the fact that U.S. regulatory clarity is about as reliable as a fortune cookie. Want diversification? Look somewhere else-this ETF loves America way too much to travel.
Canary Capital makes a case for American altcoins
Canary Capital, in its latest poetic outpouring, insists that U.S.-based altcoins are destined for greatness. Why? Because the wind now blows crypto-friendly in Washington, partly thanks to the raucous thunder of Trump’s supporters and partially thanks to lobbyists who refuse to leave the room.
Altcoins from American soil will, we’re told, play nice with regulators and sidestep legal headaches. Maybe so. Strangely enough, the paperwork comes not long after Canary Capital brought forth the “Canary Trump Coin ETF” in Delaware-in case anyone thought Wall Street had exhausted its supply of punchlines for 2024. 😏
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2025-08-25 20:43