Why Bitcoin is Crying While Oil Prices are Throwing a Party

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So, there I was, minding my own business, when I heard that Bitcoin had decided to throw itself a pity party, complete with a sad little cake topped with $1,500 worth of tears. Just as it was about to cross the glittery $78,000 mark-an accomplishment worthy of confetti cannons-it suddenly plummeted like my hopes of ever finding matching socks.

Meanwhile, in a plot twist worthy of a daytime soap opera, oil prices were experiencing their own version of a “Sweet 16” celebration, skyrocketing to $105 a barrel. This surge, my friends, was spurred on by none other than our dear President Trump, who apparently had a chat with oil tycoons about extending the naval blockade of the Strait of Hormuz. Because nothing says “I care” quite like tightening the screws on international trade while simultaneously inflating your gas bill.

BREAKING: US oil prices extend gains to $105/barrel as President Trump prepares to extend the US “blockade” of the Strait of Hormuz for months.

– The Kobeissi Letter (@KobeissiLetter) April 29, 2026

Now, the Wall Street Journal is reporting that the President has instructed his aides to prepare for an “extended blockade.” I can just picture them huddled around a conference table, tossing around ideas for what to do with all that extra time spent at sea. Perhaps they’ll start a book club? Meanwhile, Iranian media is warning us about “unprecedented military action,” which sounds menacingly impressive, like a rock band announcing their latest world tour.

And let’s not forget our good buddy Benjamin Netanyahu. There are whispers that he’s planning a trip to Washington to discuss the war front, which seems like a really great way to ruin a perfectly good vacation. “Hey, let’s go to D.C. and talk about war!” Sounds like a blast!

In stark contrast to oil’s jubilant rise, Bitcoin’s mood took a nosedive right after the blockade news broke, dropping from its almost-glorious $78,000 down to a mere $76,400. It did manage to recover slightly, flirting with the $77,000 mark, but let’s be real-more volatility is expected later today when the Federal Reserve holds its third FOMC meeting of the year. I mean, who wouldn’t want to spice up their financial life with a little more unpredictability?

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2026-04-29 17:02