Why Volcon’s Bitcoin Move Might Be as Bonkers as Chocolate-Covered Brussels Sprouts!

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Well, well, well! Gather ‘round, dear friends, for we’re about to embark on a topsy-turvy tale of Volcon and their rather audacious Bitcoin antics! 🎢 Imagine this: a glittering $375 million stash of Bitcoin, all scooped up when prices were sky-high! You’d think they’d be playing it safe, maybe tucking away a little for a rainy day? But no! Instead, they’re diving headfirst into the bubbling cauldron of cryptocurrency, tightening their equity and writing puts as if they’re auditioning for a high-stakes magic show! 🎩✨

  • Once known as Volcon, now they’ve donned a dashing new cape as Empery Digital with a whopping 3,183 Bitcoins twinkling in their virtual pockets, bought for a princely sum of $117,697 per BTC. They must be feeling quite the flutter, eh?
  • But hold your horses! Rather than tiptoeing into this brave new world, they’re sending a loud and proud signal to all: “Look at us!” But uh-oh, there’s fierce competition lurking around every corner! 🏇😬

In a bold announcement, Empery Digital revealed they’ve been trading in short-dated put options at $115,000, $116,000, and $117,000 — a crafty little plan that means they could snag more Bitcoin on the cheap while also filling their wallets with option premiums! 💰 Cha-ching!

And if that’s not enough to whet your appetite, they’re also throwing around a major stock buyback like it’s confetti at a birthday party—authorizing up to $100 million over the next two years just to keep their net asset value looking sprightly and boost those Bitcoin-per-share metrics. 🎈🎉

Can Volcon’s Bitcoin gambit outmaneuver early movers?

Once a bold champion of electric off-road vehicles, Volcon has now adopted a new hat, fully committing to the Bitcoin treasure hunt. They donned their shiny new title of Empery Digital on July 17, and oh boy, did they jump into a crowded carnival too late! 🎠

Unlike those cheeky early adopters like Strategy, who were stacking BTC in the cozy days of 2020 when it was practically on clearance at less than $10,000 per coin, Volcon waltzed in when the prices are dancing near the very tippy-top! Oopsie daisy! 😬🎈

Let’s not forget, public companies are already hugging over 3% of all the Bitcoin ever brought to life! Strategy is strutting around with a whopping 607,770 BTC — that’s about $72 billion worth! 🤯

It’s been a meteoric rise for Strategy, with their stock popping up like popcorn—3,500% growth since 2020, compared to Bitcoin’s own 1,100% shake! And guess who’s been cheering from the sidelines? Wall Street giants like Morgan Stanley and Barclays, dancing to the tune of Bitcoin accumulation. 💃📈

To jumpstart their success, Volcon’s cooking up a storm with hedge-fund style tactics, which include:

  • Snapping up short-term put options to grab more Bitcoin below market price while collecting yummy premiums! 🍬
  • A cheerful $100 million stock buyback to squeeze their float and make those Bitcoin-per-share numbers glisten! 💎
  • Active treasury management, lending their team’s financial expertise to land the best deals possible. 📊

Ryan Lane, Co-CEO of this amusing circus, proclaimed:

“As a continuous aggregator of BTC, we will leverage our team’s decades of hedge fund experience to sprinkle some clever magic to lower the effective purchase price of BTC as we look to offer investors the most efficient, least dilutive, and lowest-cost means of gaining exposure to Bitcoin through the public equity market treasury structure.”

But oh dear! Volcon’s strategy is perched on two wobbly assumptions: one, that Bitcoin will keep rising like a hot air balloon, and two, that their fancy financial tricks will be enough to outpace any dilution. Strategy struck gold because they grabbed it early and held on tight! Volcon is missing that delightful luxury. 🤔💔

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2025-07-25 21:20