Will the Government Shutdown Finally End? Crypto Enthusiasts Hold Their Breath!

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Well, folks, grab your constitutional amendments and hold onto your wallets! It seems that the U.S. government shutdown, that indignant adolescent of a situation, might finally be ready to wipe the Cheeto dust from its fingers and re-enter polite society this week. That’s right! According to one of Trump’s economic advisors, the illustrious Hassett, we’re inching back toward something resembling normalcy, which, let’s be honest, we all know is really just another way of saying “Let’s get those crypto regulations rolling again!”

Hassett, with the fervor of a child who just discovered where Mom hides the cookies, predictably pointed fingers at Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer-dubbed the ‘Schumer Shutdown’-for this whole debacle. As if the Senate is just one big thumb war between Republicans and Democrats, and Schumer somehow ended up holding the losing hand. 🎤💥

In a gleeful admission, Hassett suggested that “moderate Democrats” might finally decide to take the plunge back into the pool of legislative civility. It’s like watching an awkward first date, where you can’t tell if they’ll conclude with a chaste handshake or a passionate kiss-and isn’t that just the circus we’ve grown fond of watching?

If negotiations nosedive into chaos-which is about as likely as a cat willingly taking a bath-Hassett cheekily implied that the Trump administration might crank up the pressure. Because nothing says “let’s work together” quite like “you will comply or else!” Let’s not forget that this is the same guy who declared he has over a million dollars in Coinbase, so perhaps he has his own interests at heart as well.

Government Shutdown Stalls Altcoin ETF Momentum

Ah, the government shutdown-a saga worthy of a long-winded novel-has entered its 20th day. This marks its place as the third longest in U.S. history, trailing behind the last family reunion at Aunt Myrtle’s house. Exchange-traded fund applications for our dear friends Litecoin, XRP, and Solana are currently languishing in the bureaucratic equivalent of a waiting room that smells of old coffee and regret.

It seems that all major crypto developments are sitting in their virtual cars, waiting in line for the world to resume functioning. Just last month, congressmen had a sit-down with the likes of crypto mogul Michael Saylor, discussing how the government can finally get its act together over Trump’s grand plan-a ‘Strategic Bitcoin Reserve’. No biggie, right?

This exciting meeting brought up the enchanting idea of how the BITCOIN Act-championed by Cynthia Lummis-could pave the way for Bitcoin purchases without making our wallets resemble an overcooked spaghetti mess. 🍝💸

Democrats to Meet Crypto Executives This Week

Yet, don’t let the gloom of a government shutdown convince you that progress is at a total standstill! Reports indicate that Democratic Senators are gearing up for a cozy roundtable discussion with industry titans from Coinbase, Circle, Ripple, and further ilk this Wednesday. They’re set to examine the proposed U.S. crypto market structure bill, which is pretty much code for “let’s figure out how to make this whole thing work without our heads exploding.”

Despite Hassett’s buoyant take on things, the crystal ball from Polymarket predicts a 71% chance that this wild ride could stretch beyond 30 days-pushing our collective excitement (or dread) to October 31. Boo! 🎃

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2025-10-21 06:59