With a Solana Spot ETF now in the market, the universe’s most persistent crypto enthusiasts are currently lobbying for an XRP Spot ETF, convinced it’s the next logical step in humanity’s doomed attempt to understand blockchain. As the SEC’s hypothetical approval date looms like a neutron star, companies like Grayscale are fine-tuning their strategies with the urgency of a Vogon poet preparing a tax return.
Grayscale’s XRP ETF Gambit: A Dance with Regulatory Gravity
The race for an XRP Spot ETF has escalated to “intergalactic urgency,” according to sources who may or may not be entirely sober. Grayscale, a firm whose name suggests it specializes in turning digital assets into existential crises, has filed an updated amendment for its proposed ETF. John Squire, a crypto influencer whose predictions are about 67% accurate (give or take a black hole), claims this move is “bold.” Bold, or possibly the result of sleep deprivation.
Grayscale’s amendment suggests they’re betting the SEC will eventually nod in approval, though the timing remains as predictable as a Tuesday. Squire, ever the optimist, insists “the walls are closing in, and mainstream adoption is inevitable.” One wonders if he’s referring to the walls of a cryptic regulatory labyrinth or a particularly aggressive asteroid field.
Despite the SEC’s current obsession with cryptocurrency (a hobby they’ve recently taken up between episodes of “The Office” rewatch), Grayscale’s filing implies they’re prepared to wait until the heat death of the universe if necessary. Rumor has it the SEC will decide the fund’s fate this month. Fingers crossed, or whatever fingers you have left after trying to explain this to your grandmother.
Grayscale’s trust, which now operates under Delaware law (a state known for its legal complexity and suspiciously high number of cryptocurrency-related LLCs), aims to list on NYSE Arca under the symbol GXRP. The trust’s mission? To provide investors with XRP exposure “without the hassle of owning actual XRP.” A bold claim, like selling a toaster that doesn’t require electricity.
In a stunning twist, the trust now allows “Cash Orders,” a process so convoluted it could make a bureaucrat weep. Essentially, someone deposits cash, a third party does something involving XRP, and everyone pretends they understand what just happened. It’s like a cosmic version of a bureaucratic riddle.
XRP ETF: The Next Big Thing or the Next Big Mistake?
The XRP ETF rumor mill is currently operating at 110% capacity, with enthusiasts convinced the SEC will approve it by November 13. Ripple Bull Winkle, a self-proclaimed “crypto oracle,” insists this is “100% happening.” His evidence? A dream he had while microwaving popcorn. The floodgates, he claims, are opening. One wonders if he’s prepared for the deluge of lawsuits that might follow.
According to Winkle, institutional capital will soon pour into XRP “like water into a black hole.” A poetic image, though one that might give physicists nightmares. The market, he says, has been waiting for this. Or perhaps it’s been waiting for someone to explain why Bitcoin isn’t just a fancy PayPal.
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2025-11-06 02:24