XRP: Hold Onto Your Hats, It’s About to Get Uglier Than a Larry David Date Night

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So, some crypto “genius” is saying XRP is hanging by a thread thinner than my patience at a vegan restaurant. Apparently, if it doesn’t hold this “critical support level,” it’s gonna crash harder than my stand-up career in the 80s. Great. Just what we needed-another crypto cliffhanger. Thanks, market downturn, you’re really killing it.

XRP: The Crypto Equivalent of a Bad First Date

Scott Melker, aka ‘The Wolf Of All Streets’-because nothing screams credibility like a nickname-is waving his bearish flag like it’s a garage sale. He’s calling XRP’s chart setup “crazy,” which is crypto-speak for “I have no idea what’s happening but I’m gonna sound smart anyway.” According to him, if XRP dips below $1.60, it’s gonna freefall faster than my interest in a conversation about gluten.

He’s also pointing out that the volume has cooled, which is just a fancy way of saying buyers are running for the hills. Or maybe they’re just taking a nap. Who knows? Not me. I’m too busy wondering why I still own XRP.

Here’s the chart. Looks like a rollercoaster designed by someone who hates fun. Momentum? Gone. Support? Slipping faster than my grip on reality. But hey, at least it’s not my 401(k).

Melker’s advice? If it holds, it bounces. If it breaks, it’s a freefall. Groundbreaking. Thanks, Scott. Next time, just text me “buy low, sell high” and save us all the trouble.

Analyst Predicts XRP Will Be Worthless Until 2028. Or Maybe Not. Who Cares?

Then there’s this guy ‘BRUH’-yes, that’s his name, or at least what he calls himself when he’s not busy predicting the end of the world. He’s saying XRP could bottom out between $1 and $1.20. Wow. Can’t wait to buy a coffee with that. Oh wait, I can’t, because no one accepts XRP.

But hey, good news! By 2028, XRP might hit $8 to $10. Only four more years of staring at this chart like it’s a Rorschach test. Great. Just what I needed-another reason to procrastinate.

So, there you have it. XRP: the crypto that’s either gonna make you rich or make you wish you’d invested in Beanie Babies instead. Either way, it’s gonna be a wild ride. Or a slow, painful crawl. Probably the latter. Thanks, crypto. You’re a real pal.

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2026-02-02 22:41