Rumble just swiped right on Northern Data for the bargain price of $1.17 billion… paid entirely in imaginary stock tokens and vibes. Tether-purveyors of the coin that lives on hopes, dreams, and a suspiciously large printer-has apparently cosigned this tech rom-com. Because nothing screams “sound investment” like stable coins backed by vibes and possibly a photocopy of someone’s mood board. 🙃
Northern Data, who basically run the digital equivalent of a really fancy kettle for AI, will now be absorbed into Rumble’s universe of cat videos and conspiracy docs. Imagine a gym rat discovering quinoa-Rumble is about to get VERY into “wellness” (AI wellness). 💪+🤖
The deal promises “AI-driven products and services,” which, translated from CorpSpeak, means we’re getting a bot that can auto-caption your uncle’s 4-hour rant on lizard people, probably in 47 languages, all while mining Bitcoin in the background. Efficiency!
Bottom line: The future is equal parts hilarious and horrifying, and we’re all just unpaid extras. Popcorn? 🍿
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2025-08-11 14:14