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Our dear Bitcoin (BTC) was trading at a modest $108,000, a slight dip from this week’s high of $110,000, but still a respectable 10% above the lowest point this month. One mustn’t forget, after all, that even the most glamorous of assets need a moment to catch their breath.

On July 1, BCH reached $526.5 — its highest price in eight months — as market enthusiasm, whale accumulation, and speculative inflows helped propel the token more than 75% higher over the past three months.

In some gloomy note to their fixed income squad (honestly, who names these departments?) BlackRock’s analysts basically said the world is getting a bit suss about holding dollars and long-dated Treasuries. Apparently, if you borrow epic amounts of money, even your besties start to look at you like, “Are you going to pay me back or just ‘forget’ again?”

While frightened masses cling to headlines as to a lifeboat—“Bitcoin Will Crash!”—Kiyosaki calls it farce, a bad circus. On the public square of X (where men, bots, and philosophers do battle for clicks), he announces:

CLICK BAIT Losers keeps warning of a Bitcoin crash. They want to frighten off the speculators. I hope Bitcoin crashes. I will only buy more.

Take care.

— Robert Kiyosaki (@theRealKiyosaki) July 5, 2025

Verily, the latest development doth indicate a slight shift in timing, but not in intention. The new schedule, a veritable tour de force of financial wizardry, doth promise to continue the pattern set by its predecessors in 2023 and early 2025. Those earlier issuances, if thou dost recall, didst utilize distributed ledger technology to enhance transparency and expedite transactions. Tokenized green bonds, those digital representations of traditional assets, doth hold the key to quicker settlements and improved liquidity for investors. 💸

A whiff of risk, a hint of greed, and the entire market holds its breath, clustered precariously upon the ledge of “key resistance.” Behold—a comedy of nerves!

A jury in California has declared that the tech giant has been transferring customer data without permission, and they’re not happy about it. 😠

Meanwhile, in the derivatives market, things have gone full-on “Blazing Saddles.” Since Binance rolled out Bitcoin futures in September 2019, those contracts have racked up an eye-popping $650 trillion. Yes, trillion. With a T! That’s more zeros than Mel Brooks’ punchlines in “Spaceballs.” For spot trading? It’s a humble $168 trillion… a mere pittance if you’re a Bond villain, but let’s be real: derivatives are running the show, the orchestra, and probably the gift shop too. Leverage is flying around faster than rumors at a Hollywood bar mitzvah. 🤑

On July 4—because nothing says financial independence like cryptocurrency—analytics oracle Alphractal announced on X (because “Twitter” isn’t cryptic enough) that Bitcoin investor sentiment was officially “very bullish.” This was determined by something called the Alpha Crypto Sentiment Gauge, which sounds like a device found in the luggage of wizards who pack for all occasions.

Turns out there’s an old court doc where Ripple’s CTO, David “Mr. Wizard” Schwartz, said Satoshi “held enormous amounts of XRP.” Stop the presses! Somebody get this man a lie detector and a tinfoil hat! 🎩⚡️