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This marks the Czech National Bank’s grand debut into the cryptosphere. According to a dusty old Form 13F they filed with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission—a form as thrilling as watching paint dry—the bank snapped up those shares on July 14, back when they were merely valued at a pedestrian $18.13 million. It’s like buying a vintage wine for the price of grape juice and then discovering it ages into a rare vintage overnight! 🍷✨

But as Bitcoin stabilizes post-ATH, market attention is rapidly pivoting to altcoins, several of which are showing signs of preparing for their breakout moves toward historic highs. Here’s a breakdown of the top contenders.

Yet, amidst the jubilation, July also bore witness to record-setting liquidation losses, with Open Interest (OI) volumes reaching historic highs. While Bitcoin and Ethereum basked in the glory of their gains, several altcoins now stand on the precipice of significant liquidation risks, as price volatility increases. 🌊

According to Lookonchain (because, apparently, that’s a thing), Bhutan sold 512.84 BTC over the last four days. That’s about $59.47 million! Not bad for a country that could probably fit inside the parking lot of a mid-sized US state. 🏞️ But don’t worry, they’re not *completely* sold out. Bhutan still holds about $1.4 billion worth of Bitcoin. You know, for a rainy day. Or for another strategic sale when the price hits $250K. 📈

But here’s the thing—don’t get too excited. The volume? Yeah, it’s kind of like a 2 a.m. pizza delivery: looks good, but it’s probably not the real deal. All this price action is being pushed by leverage and short squeezes, kind of like when your friend swears they know how to fix the Wi-Fi, but you end up calling a professional anyway. Bitcoin did the same thing, so no, this isn’t a breakthrough, it’s more like a trend-following disaster waiting to happen. 😅

According to the illustrious Charlie Bilello, chief market strategist at Creative Planning, this marks a curious moment in history: the two titans, Bitcoin and Gold, vying for the top spot in a way that has never quite been seen before. One might say it’s as if two old acquaintances are now in a heated, albeit friendly, race to the top. “We’ve never seen these two in the number one and number two spots for any calendar year,” says Bilello, nodding sagely as if it were a delightful novelty—though it’s hardly a surprise, considering the economic chaos at hand.

Ah, Bitcoin, that mischievous rascal, just tossed its hat over the fence, soaring past $123,000 early Monday, strutting towards that enticing $140,000 mark hinted at by BlackRock’s recent breakout. 🎩

In a recent discourse upon the esteemed airwaves of CNBC Television, the sharp-witted Rebecca Patterson, erstwhile chief investment strategist, bemoaned the lamentable fate of the US dollar, which has unceremoniously depreciated by approximately 10% in this academic year—an indignity not witnessed for over half a century! 😮

On the fateful day of July 11, documents unveiled the proclamation of a New York federal judge, who, with a whip of his judicial pen, hastily dismissed the case against Dolce & Gabbana USA Inc. This lone defendant on American soil found itself serenely untouched by the ripples of the lawsuit, much to the dismay of the plaintiff, Luke Brown, who, it seems, was eager to play the role of a modern-day Don Quixote battling windmills.

Warning one: Microsoft reveals its topological-qubit chip that finally solves the stability problem and puts fault-tolerant hardware on a visible timeline. Warning two: Google’s 105-qubit Willow processor shows an hour-long error-corrected operation, orders of magnitude better than 2024’s record. Warning three: Chinese researchers published peer-reviewed results on the 105-qubit Zuchongzhi 3.0 processor running an 83-qubit random-circuit sampling task. Usually, that would keep the world’s fastest classical supercomputer busy for an estimated 5.9 billion years, but this works out to roughly a million-fold advantage over previous quantum-speed records.