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On Tuesday, Chancellor Reeves and Secretary Bessent – names that will doubtless echo in the corridors of power for years to come – held discussions. One imagines stern faces, furrowed brows, and possibly a shared plate of canapés. The object of this solemn exchange? Strengthening “coordination” on crypto. As if crypto needed *more* coordination. It’s chaotic enough as it is. 🤪

Anticipation for the nonce of 21st-century finance-our very own fashionable spot XRP exchange-traded fund-has reached a crescendo following REX Shares’s chatty disclosure via the ushers of social media on the 15th of September:

According to their trusty reports (and probably some enthusiastic interns who just discovered NFTs), Amex has rolled out a service called Amex Passport. This gem of a feature issues what are essentially NFT-style stamps-ERC-721 tokens, no less-on the Ethereum layer-two network, called Base. Because, of course, what’s a passport without the essence of cryptocurrency, right?

Apparently, the darlings at Tuttle aren’t content with just one or two ETFs; they’ve also filed for a Litecoin (LTC) income blast and a Sui (SUI) income blast. Honestly, it’s like they’re hosting a crypto cocktail party and everyone’s invited! 🍸 This makes them the second U.S. fund manager to file for a spot Bonk ETF, following in the footsteps of Rex Shares and Osprey Funds. How très chic! 👠

In a thrilling episode of “Will They or Won’t They?” aired during a Monday hearing of the House Rules Committee, a draft agenda revealed that they may add the verbiage of the oh-so-exciting Anti-CBDC Surveillance State Act – which, mind you, also squeezed through in July with a nail-bitingly narrow margin – to the Digital Asset Market Clarity Act. I mean, who doesn’t love a good mashup? Like your favorite songs, only worse! 🎶

My stars, it all hinges on the Fed’s mood! A dovish coo could send AERO waltzing to $1.6, a 30% encore. But a bearish growl? Oh, darling, it might plummet to $1.1 faster than a Coward wit. 🐻

Meanwhile, on the other side of the pond, businesses are chasing higher valuations like it’s Black Friday and the price tag is on clearance. So they’re packing up from the London Stock Exchange and rushing over to the New York Stock Exchange and Nasdaq like it’s the hottest club in town. Naturally, this causes political indigestion, prompting some sort of “push” to fix it. Push? More like a gentle shove. But hey, it’s politics.

In this roaring bull market, Bitcoin, that illustrious monarch of cryptos, holds court among savvy financiers and powerbrokers who once scoffed at such novelties as mere fables. What began as a modest whisper now echoes across the globe, much like a matinee idol’s name on every tongue.

In an unexpected (or perhaps completely expected) plot twist, Pump.fun has now outperformed Hyperliquid for two days straight, hitting the second-highest 24-hour revenue among all projects. Only Tether is ahead of them. But hey, don’t feel bad for Hyperliquid-there’s always next quarter, right?

Ethereum’s price, much like a young debutante at her first ball, is displaying newfound vigour, perilously approaching the lofty height of $4,700. Whilst ETH dances upward with no small grace, Bitmine Immersion Technology Inc., a company no doubt well-practised in the arts of treasury management, is doubling down on its investments with purchases both steady and significant.